"Radio, are you fixed on that thing?"

"With the aid of Ezra the Human, the Green Radio was able to solidly track the surveillance machine."

"Good job, and thanks, Ezra. You're badass, chingon. Okay, what should we do here? That thing is tracking what goes on in this city. I don't think its presence is an accident…Ezra, are you okay?"

He nodded, surreptitiously wiping away a tear. Grief? Fear? No, he was smiling. Humans, I swear, so confusing.

"Let's get the Legion of Foolish Doom, or whatever. Radio, can I talk to Mandy, Schmendrick, Gary and–"

"Incoming in from Doctor Jeff Harrigan, formerly the First Human."

I froze. So did Ezra. We both remembered living under Harrigan. Over and over again.

"Let's do it," I said.

His voice was jovial, younger, stronger. "They put me in charge!" And he laughed.

"Congratulations," I said.

"And it's all because of you, Owen. If you hadn't so effectively humiliated the first attempt, they'd have just kept going with that. They'd have done it forever, over and over. You couldn't have let them just kill one of you?"

"Not one."

"Yeah, yeah. You and your guys. Don't you touch my guys!" He laughed again. "I almost got you last time, and that's why I'm project lead now! I knew you'd be out here. I know what you're looking for. Can you believe it? That drone was my idea, and you'd better believe they fought me – Hey!"

Because there was a boom outside. "The surveillance drone had been shot down by Team Goat Fetus and the Cocaine Schmendricks," the Radio announced savagely.

"Oh god DAMMIT do you realize how much those things cost?" Harrigan shouted. "I swear, it was only keeping an eye on this dump. Why do you have to destroy all our stuff, Owen?"

"Send more stuff," I said. Fists at my sides.

"Funny you should mention that," said Harrigan, chummy and cheerful again, like flipping a switch.

Nothing happened. I waited. Ezra's eyes were wide, but he looked steady. Good lad.

"Funny you should mention that, I said." Harrigan sounded irritated. He whispered something to someone else there.

"A fourth-dimensional incursion," the Radio said. "Off the coast of this island city."

"What you got for me, Doctor Jeff?"

He went cold and serious. "The best Mankind can send."

"Then we'll just have to trash it–"

"Doctor Harrigan had ended the discussion," The Radio snarled.

This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

"What came through? How many people?"

"None. The device appeared to be an autonomous assault platform, similar to those used by the House of Fists during–"

"Good. Radio, let me talk to everyone here. Hey Fools, knocking that thing down was great, and we're under attack by jerks from Earth today. Harrigan again but big-budget action spectacle. You know how you practice in Schmendrick's Monster School? How you hold back, because you don't want to hurt your friends?"

There were tentative noises of agreement.

"This is the day where you don't hold back. This is the day you unleash HELL. Worried about hurting someone, even if they're trying to kill you? Our target is an empty machine. Worried about getting hurt yourself? You got your teammates here to back you up. You got me, and I've been wanting to wreck this shit since forever."

I had no idea what I was saying, or why. But oddly, I got some noises of agreement.

"You're in Schmendrick's school. I've seen her yank a giant tooth from a critter and threaten that same monster with it's own tooth. The only thing I see as a problem is that she's not here right now, watching you tear the SHIT out of this thing."

A hiss from someone. No idea what that meant, but I decided to wrap it up.

"They want to take away your Magic, my fellow Fools. They want you to be their slaves. Show these people who you are. Fight like animals. Worse: fight like HUMANS!"

To my surprise, they made war shouts and battle cries. They were laughing. Ezra, yelling in skinny battle rage, ran from the empty Circle K, charging towards who-knows-what.

When I reached the edge of the cliff, I saw it. A sharkish thing, gray on top and white underneath. Fins and twin rotor blades, cruising just over the water. Big. It looked really cool, I won't lie to you. I'd never seen anything like it while back on Earth, but then that was forty-five years ago. Technology had moved on.

"HEEEEY," I called to it. I waved my arms.

The thing swerved in an actual double-take. The shark nose aimed at me. I imagined it looking at my face, saying to itself: THAT GUY. HIM. I heard its engines, but only dimly. So sneaky-quiet. What had this thing done to other Humans back home?

"You SUCK!" I reminded it.

I waved my hand to shield my eyes from the sun, but it wasn't the sun. It was red, and it was coming from the shark machine. A laser. It danced on my chest. Another red dot joined it. Both moved with mechanical precision, not the shakiness you get with a Human.

"Owen…" one of the three Serious Girls was hiding behind a gem-coated minaret. She pointed at my chest, looking alarmed.

I waved her away and kept haranguing the machine. "What's this, you gonna throw kittens at us?"

All the Humans were watching. The Cocaine Schmendricks, the Big Three and Team Goat Fetus. Their eyes went wide when distant pops came from the shark machine.

But I'd formed my soul into armor, surrounding me and keeping whatever oncoming unpleasantness away. The air around me filled with a stream of little needles, so many that they'd have torn me into liquid pulp. They were a silver river, and they orbited me and spun and immediately flung themselves back at the machine.

Its armor absorbed them, I suppose. They hit, I know that much, because my soul was carrying them. The machine didn't react.

I shouted at the Human teams. "Cocaine Schmendricks! Goat Fetus and Big Three! Can you get me down there?"

The two-boys-one-girl of Cocaine Schmendricks nodded at me nervously.

"Go for it!"

And just like that I was lifted, flung through the air. It wasn't like flying; I had no control over any of it. I was being thrown. Very fast.

I'd love to tell you I was calculating and menacing and super cool. But I wasn't. My blood was racing with whatever chemicals Humans get that readies them for a fight. I was giddy. I wanted to mess things up. It was the best.

Sending some overpriced extermination robot to mess with my guys? (But these were Humans…) Well…okay, but they were my guys.

I whooped and laughed and yelled. My path through the air took me over the water, right for the machine.

It was big. Like a mid-sized flying church. Heat poured from it and the twin rotors keeping it aloft emitted that ghastly quiet hum. This was big-money government at work.

Whatever Magic was holding me in the air lurched to a stop. I was held in place a few feet over the curved armor of the thing, then released.

My bare feet slapped on the hide of the killer device. And it electrified its hull, of course.

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