"I don't want you to go, Schmendrick."

"Too bad." She was a little mammalian bipedal dinosaur, like a velociraptor with big pointy ears and white fur. Big dark eyes, black shiny nose. Long waving tail, claws, two forelimbs like small, delicate arms. Whiskers. About the size of a turkey.

"If anything happens to you…Husband will never forgive me. He'll murder me."

"So I won't get hurt, and my Husband won't hurt you. Super easy."

I stroked her long, vaguely doggish head. All of her people were very tactile, demanding petting from anyone they interacted with. "I can't stop you," I said.

"No. And I can't stop you, either. If anything happened to you, Mandy would destroy the entire island. And my pack lives here."

"You sure?"

"More than you. I can't believe you forgot to use Magic. Silly. Foolish."

"I'm sorry, Schmendrick."

"Okay. Remember your lessons, remember all I taught you. It'll be hilarious."

I sighed. "Fine. Let's go get killed."

It wasn't a long trip. I parked the Little Boat off the coast of the Obsidian Chorus, just out of rock-throwing range. Though I knew they had better stuff now; missiles, drones, harsh language, whatever. Humans with military training and discipline; a lot of skill serving a brain with an ape's motivations.

"Ready when you are, Radio."

"Owen was on the air."

"Good morning," I said. "I'm Owen Walsh from the Feast of Fools. I'm here to talk."

"The Humans, all males of varying ethnicities, looked confused. They spoke into the empty air. One of them found the speaker of the Green Radio, and led others to it. They discussed what to do. Rifles were readied."

I sighed. "Everything still in the same spot? The tents, the machines, the mystery building?"

"And a new latrine. A Human male was speaking to the Humans; his rank insignia differed from the others."

"Okay. I want to talk to them." I cleared my throat. "Gentlemen, I'm in a boat. You can meet me out here or I can go ashore, wherever makes you comfortable."

"The lead Human spoke, leaning into the speaker of the Green Radio:"

"By all means, come ashore." A Southern twang to his speech. Confident, somewhat amused.

I beached Little Boat. Three Big Smart Bees tended the garden on its canopy; the earlier fog was gone, and the sun blazed like everything was going to be okay.

Three Human males in military fatigues charged out from between the black alien statues. Their fatigues matched the ones worn by the rock-throwing guy with the killer punch. He wasn't among them. They carried rifles and sidearms.

Poor muzzle discipline. Slouching. This wasn't the military I remembered.

They looked confused, didn't pat me down for weapons, since I was wearing long board shorts and no shoes. They stared at the moving patterns on my skin, red and green and complex.

One took my by the upper arm. I let him. Human males need this kind of dominant behavior, just like Shmendrick's people needed petting.

Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

We passed the ruins of the Taco Bell. Their camp was impressive; tents and two more solid structures. There was money in the equipment. Futuristic? I didn't recognize their guns but I'm not a gun guy.

They brought me into a long tent with a long table. It seemed to me that there was some pageantry to this. The commander; it had to be him, there at the other end. He was seated, not facing me. The chairs at the table weren't folding or portable. The table was solid. This was intended to be a permanent structure. It had a solid floor made of polished wood. I was meant to be impressed.

"Leave us," said the commander, he of the Deep South accent. It sounded to me like Lay Vus. His soldiers left to stand outside the tent, where I could clearly see them through the mesh window. They were watching and listening.

He still faced away, saying nothing.

"I like your camp," I said. "It's nice."

He turned in his chair. "You have to know that you're the ace of spades, right?" His head was big and square, his face small on it. He was sandy blond, brown-eyed and close-cropped. "Do you know what that is?"

"The Iraq war thing," I said. "I remember reading about playing cards. The big bad guy was the ace of spades."

"I guess that's how it started. We've been using it for a long time."

"You have forty-five years on me," I said. "I only remember Earth from 2025. Is Marvel still going on? How about Star Wars?"

"Marvel? Oh, you mean the superhero LLMMO. Played that when I was little; don't know about the other one."

"Kids these days."

"I'm older than you. Mr. Walsh, by ten years or more. You know you're coming back with us? We expected we'd have to go grab you. And you just show up with your boat."

"Watch out for the big Bees on it, they'll hurt your guys."

"Thanks. I've been ordered to capture some specimens of them, as well as the small dinosaur animals. The Hunters. The bosses are really into those, want to breed them as weapons or some. What did you want to talk about?"

"How do you send people back?"

"I'm not at liberty to disclose that. But you won't be harmed. Not during that part."

"Can you choose where the passage occurs, or is it always random?"

"I'm asking the questions."

"What if we traded questions? I have some people I need to send back, and I think we can work something out."

"I'm not taking anyone back that didn't arrive with me. Your time here is over, Owen."

"Oh. What questions did you have for me?"

"We have plenty. It'll take days. You won't enjoy it." But he smiled, a little joke for himself. He'd enjoy it, that was sure.

"What's your name?"

"Commander Pitt."

"First name."

He smiled again. "Grayson."

"I don't suppose you could just leave and take my surplus humans with you?"

He shook his head, smiling. I heard snickers from the soldiers outside.

"This place is too much for you," I said. "I want you to go home, and tell your masters to find some other way to get their immortality. The Slice is dangerous."

He didn't laugh. I could see why; I wasn't what he thought of as a Human person, not any more. I was a monster, someone who'd gone native. His guys outside thought it was funny, though.

"I'm not going to tell them that," He said. "Not that they'd listen anyway. It won't do you any harm to tell you that they need this, they want it more than anything."

"They risk the Earth and everyone on it."

"I see," he said, finally giving in to the primal Human Male urge to mock. "What'll you do to stop them?"

"Who, me? Nothing. I mean, I hadn't thought about it." But…he'd set up an idea in my two-volt brain. Hmm.

Hmmmm.

"I gotta go," I said. What would I do to them? What could be done? It was very interesting. Still thinking, I stood from the fancy conference table and turned for the exit.

"I need you to sit. Down," he said. That would be the voice of command.

But I was distracted, and waved him away. He'd given me a very interesting set of things to consider.

The tent had an actual door, one that could be opened, not just a flap. I stepped out and found that the two soldiers were aiming their rifles at me.

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