"Candidate," said the AI in the computer. A woman's voice, matronly and strong.

We were talking to the Tourist Winnie. Its voice was piped into the ridiculously small machine bolted to the desk. We'd been told translation was reasonably accurate.

"What do we call her," I asked. "Is Tourist her name?"

"That's just for, well, tourists. She's called Audrey 3. The one in front of us is Calliope, the one in back is Luann DiGroot." Adaobi raised a finger to silence us. "Clarify," she said.

"Mahout."

Adaobi looked puzzled. "I get it, but why two?" She turned to Todd and I. "One of the herd is offering you a job. Usually it's just one person. Like Pern, you know?"

We didn't. She shrugged. "It's a lifelong position, you take care of the Winnie, and you get a staff as it grows. It's a big, big job."

"What do we get in return?" Todd asked.

I scowled at him. GET? You get to do it! You get this cool thing! That's what you GET!

Adaobi: "Mahouts get a special living quarters arrangement compared to everyone else. They need to be centrally located, tied in to the circulatory system."

"A house?" Todd said. "Your reward is a house? Anyone can have a house, even those who don't deserve one; it's one of the problems we face as Humans."

She gave him what can only be described as the stinkeye. Then back to me. "Mahouts are very important to each Winnie village. You get a lot of social capital. Caravan doesn't have a lot of respect for hierarchies, but a mahout gots clout."

Lux snickered. She may still have been a little drunk. She stopped, but I felt the zap from her soul: mahout gots earmuffs.

I didn't understand, which was a frequent problem I run into when talking to popular people. Best not to ask. But I suddenly saw something, a new possibility:

We could get rid of Todd. And it would do him good; help him, save him. He'd be a better person. Get him out of his cult.

But mostly we'd be rid of Todd.

I asked: "Would you say the mahout is more like a king or a mayor?"

"Neither. Well-respected, though."

Todd was hooked. His normally blank face was blanker with excitement. "I'd like to see if I'm the candidate," he said.

I thought: You are, Todd. You'll be full of Winnie wisdom, you'll be helping a community, you'll have a social advantage, oh boy. I'll be leaving you in better shape than when I found you.

Because Adaobi was cool, no way around it. Todd could use a role model. Maybe this would straighten him out. Because my Human readers probably see the obvious: Todd needed work.

I was trying to think of a way to insinuate that a really cool, popular mahout would certainly impress Lux, but it wasn't a concept that I could get behind because I didn't think it was true in the least. Todd simply wasn't on Lux's menu.

Adaobi spoke to the Winnie again: "Location."

The Winnie said a word I didn't know, possibly in Korean. Adaobi came back in the same language, or at least as near as I could tell with single words. Back and forth between the two of them.

"Audrey wants us to go right now," she finally said. "And she's the boss, applesauce."

Todd straightened. He was in.

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We left in one of the little flying cars. It wasn't as cool as Schmendrick's ultra-fast red Skittle, but it got us there. Todd was amped. I could feel genuine cheer coming from him, actual hope. Okay, good, Todd. We'll get you squared away.

"Where is it…" Adaobi muttered. "There, see it? Activity in the water."

The car was also a boat, which was handy. We set down with a small splash. Adaobi just hopped out and started wading, so I did as well. All of us, Lux, Todd. Todd grimaced at the idea but did it anyway; took off his cool boots first, though.

Activity in the water was an understatement. Foaming, boiling. Thrashing vines or tentacles or snakes. It smelled of something chemical, hissed and fizzed with stinging carbonation. The entire site was perhaps the length of a school bus.

Adaobi wandered into it with the confidence of a rancher who'd seen this kind of thing many times. She produced heavy black gloves from her coveralls, ones that went all the way up her forearms. One of the thrashing vines flailed at her and she smacked it out of the way with an armored hand, not even looking at it.

"Let's see what we have here," she said. Bent over, pulled at a mass in the center of the boiling. Her arms went in past her elbows. She pulled. "Oh, it's a big boy," she said.

I waded in. I wasn't wearing the gloves, but I also wasn't going to just let her do this alone. I helped clear the vines from…what? A wooden-looking thing, a bark-covered lump slowly wriggling in the water, rocking like a tooth loose in its socket.

I grinned at her, probably looking quite crazy. She gave the same grin back. Lunatics in the same lunatic club.

Todd and Lux just watched, wide-eyed. Sane people miss out on the best stuff.

Because clearing the vines allowed that lump to push its way upward from the water. We cleared more and more, and it became clear: this was a snout.

Two slit nostrils expanded, hissing air in, blasting it out again, sending our hair flying.

"You can do it, baby," Adaobi was shouting. "Come on up, we got you!"

The river mud beneath our feet shifted alarmingly. We kept at it, tearing the vines away, shoving them aside. And after a short while, we had to stand back. We were no longer required.

The Winnie pulled itself free of the river bottom. First that head, that long, heavy neck. No antlers yet. The forelegs, hauling the body up from the mud. The long torso. Then the rear legs, scrabbling clumsily but doing the job. Water rushed to fill the gap left in the earth left by the baby.

It stood before us on long, coltish legs, perhaps three stories high. It was just a baby, but big, big. It huffed in breaths through a vaguely horsey mouth the size of a Volkswagen. I heard the hollowness, the echo of those huge lungs deep in the chest of the thing. No plants grew on it yet, and certainly no buildings. Just a baby.

I loved it. All my plans of letting Todd do this went out the window. I wanted this for myself. I was desperately charmed by this being, and I wanted it more than I'd ever wanted anything, even to be seduced by a thicc spy girl. I loved this thing. I felt like going over there to drown Todd was a perfectly reasonable course of action. This was mine, mine!

Fantasies overwhelmed me. Surfing with this creature, jumping off its back as it stood in the swell. Building a tiny hut on its back. Being part of its herd. Helping it grow, curing its ills, growing old in the role of its keeper.

Adaobi was shouting to it. "Well look at you! Aren't you gorgeous? Want to meet the rest of the herd? We love you!"

She and I slapped each other on the shoulders, and she hugged me and I hugged back. Muscles on Adaobi.

"Wow," I kept saying. "Wow! Wow wow wow…"

But silence fell, because that long neck had bent. It sniffed at us. Shwoooof went those nostrils.

"When do the eyes open?" I whispered. Because they were closed so tightly that they were difficult to spot on the head of the creature.

She shrugged and made a shushing gesture with one finger.

The Winnie baby inspected Adaobi. Then Lux, then Todd. They were frozen in place, watching, waiting.

That snout was aimed at Todd for a longish time. Then it swung towards me. The nostrils again: Shwoooof. That snout was pointed at me for some time.

My heart filled with joy. It liked me! My heart swelled like a sail catching wind. It liked me. Of course it liked me. It could sense my good intentions and worthiness! I raised my arms for it to lift me.

The snout pushed me backwards, hard, and I fell into the shallows. The voice I'd heard last night boomed in my brain.

NO

It was pointing its colossal head at Todd. He was blank-faced with astonishment.

YOU

TODD

I'm sorry, readers. I started crying.

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