Palmer wore a bitter expression, utilizing all his brain cells to start pondering these unresolved mysteries.

What troubled him wasn't this scheme, but Church himself, and upon further reflection, his former partner was indeed exceedingly mysterious.

Palmer often chatted with Church about his family, shared tales of his childhood, his hobbies, and experiences, while Church would listen patiently, occasionally engaging in conversation with Palmer.

In retrospect, Palmer noticed an oddity: in his interactions with Church, it had always been a one-sided exchange of thoughts from Palmer, with Church seldom expressing his own ideas, let alone talking about his past.

Though the two were once inseparable partners, when it came to Church's past and his previous experiences, Palmer couldn't say a single thing about it.

This stark contrast, which he realized late, left Palmer deeply unsettled, making him question whether he ever truly understood Church.

He never really understood Church.

This thought flickered through Palmer's mind, and come to think of it, Palmer didn't even know Church's real appearance.

The faceless man.

Even without considering Church's messy affairs, the fact that the Order Bureau trusted this mission to Church and handed Chekov's Gun over to him was enough to confirm Church's reliability in their eyes.

Vasilina said, "Instead of overthinking, why don't you just ask him directly?"

"That's true," Palmer's eyes lit up, "Where's Church? Where is he?"

"Church left yesterday; among us, Church was the least injured, or rather, he wasn't injured at all. He just needed some time to replenish Ether after the huge drain from using Chekov's Gun.

After replenishing, he was the first to return to the Order Bureau to report on the mission."

Church was there for work, Palmer was there for a vacation; work was work, life was life.

Palmer felt deflated, but quickly regained his spirits.

Palmer held a mysterious trust in Church, much like he did in Bologue. The two were once partners, and Palmer believed in Church's decisions. If Church chose to conceal something, he must have his reasons. Rather than pressing him, it was better to wait until Church was willing to share.

Who knows if that day will ever come.

Palmer let out a lament, "Vacation, my vacation..."

Back in reality, Palmer was utterly disoriented. Who would've thought his family visit would turn out like this.

"Look on the bright side; you can stay home a bit longer now."

Vasilina rubbed Palmer's head affectionately, like she was tending to a little dog with a lame leg.

That's indeed true; Palmer's annual leave was just a week, but these injuries wouldn't heal in a week.

Palmer didn't know whether to be happy or troubled.

Seeing Palmer's good spirits, Vasilina leaned down and kissed Palmer on the forehead.

"For now, just rest up."

Vasilina said this and was about to leave, but this time, Palmer suddenly reached out and grabbed Vasilina.

Vasilina turned back in surprise; usually, Palmer treated her like a plague, eager to shoo her away. What had changed today, for him to willingly keep her?

Palmer was also startled for a second. Realizing he was holding Vasilina, panic flickered across his face, but he quickly regained his composure and didn't let go.

"Do you have any plans?"

"No, why?"

Vasilina looked at Palmer with a smile, the dim shadow obscuring her face, and Palmer couldn't see her expression.

Palmer asked, "Could you stay with me for a bit?"

"Is this a request?"

Vasilina held Palmer's hand and sat back on the bed.

Palmer hesitated for a moment, feeling a slight blush. Fortunately, the dim shadows masked his face as well, and Palmer guessed Vasilina couldn't see it.

"I suppose...it is."

Palmer forced the words out of his throat.

In the dim light, Palmer lay honestly on the bed, while Vasilina sat at the bedside. The room was exceptionally quiet, with only the ticking of the clock and their even breaths remaining.

Suddenly, Palmer spoke, "I'm sorry, Vasilina."

"Sorry for what?"

"Many things... like how long it took me to come back, always avoiding you and such."

Palmer felt like his brain was cramping, and lots of strange words came out uncontrollably.

"And then?"

Vasilina held Palmer's hands, their skin intimately pressed together, warm emotions brewed between them.

"I've been thinking about things, like why I have such reactions, why... I resist you."

Palmer gradually stopped thinking. He was now like a translator, speaking out the words inscribed in his mind without any embellishment.

"I'm someone who's really afraid of separation. Whenever I think about the things I care about, I'm terrified at the thought that they will eventually leave me."

Palmer thought of Church. After Church was injured and lost an eye, Palmer chose to part ways, and later he worked alone.

Palmer didn't want a new partner anymore.

Having a new partner meant Palmer would have a life-and-death brother, and one day, brutal death would separate them.

Fortunately, Bologue wouldn't die.

Vasilina said, "That sounds like a vicious circle."

"Yeah, the more I care about something, the more I fear separation and feel terrified of the coming farewell in the future.

So I strive to keep a distance from everything. As long as I don't care, there will be no separation, and I won't be troubled by it."

Palmer really liked everyone at the Undying Club. During the days of singing and dancing, his heart felt no burden. They wouldn't leave him. Instead, he might leave them first, becoming an unnoticeable glass in a cupboard.

"Because you care about me, you fear me."

Vasilina lay on her side, pressing her body against Palmer's stomach, propping her hand under her head, scrutinizing this frantic and confused soul.

"Does this sound a bit strange, like the childish fantasy of a kid," Palmer blamed himself, "Sometimes, I feel disgusted with myself for these odd thoughts... feeling like I'm a disgusting guy."

Vasilina didn't speak. She lay on Palmer's chest, listening to the heartbeat.

Palmer cautiously asked, "Are you angry?"

"No, on the contrary, I'm very happy," Vasilina said, "It shows you care about me a lot, so much that you avoided me for so long."

Palmer felt Vasilina was being sarcastic; she was almost exploding with anger.

Apologetic for this inner flaw, Palmer yet jokingly thought to himself, how come she changed from a girlfriend to a fiancée so suddenly.

This rapid change left Palmer at a loss, not knowing how to handle it.

In matters like this, Palmer was a novice.

"All this time, you hoped that distance and time could wash away your care for me and cool down your overheated heart.

Only when you no longer care about me would you be at ease facing me."

Vasilina concluded, "So... you don't love me anymore, right? Palmer, only then would you dare to confess your heart to me."

"No!"

Palmer sat up abruptly, and then the excessive movement caused intense stabbing pain, making him grimace.

Vasilina snuggled into Palmer's embrace, her hand stroking his chest. She looked up, meeting Palmer's gaze. From her eyes, Palmer understood that based on his next words, she would either kiss him or give him a powerful defibrillation.

"Alright..."

Suddenly, Palmer deflated, beginning his confession.

"Initially, I really believed that time and distance would free me. To hasten this relief, I soaked myself in the Undying Club every day, getting drunk to oblivion with those boozy friends... you could say, except on workdays, my mind was never clear.

Before seeing you, I really thought I had succeeded, that I wouldn't be troubled by this anymore, but upon seeing you, I realized..."

Palmer took a deep breath, sighing.

"All that drinking was in vain."

"Even though we hadn't seen each other for so long, at the moment I saw you, an indescribable emotion surged violently in my mind. The intense emotion broke through all obstacles. My rational mind told me I wasn't ready, that I should keep my distance, but my instincts kept screaming.

It sounds conflicted, on one hand, I'm afraid of the farewell after establishing a close relationship, on the other hand, I deeply desire the intimacy between us."

Palmer, drained of all energy, fell back again. He looked at the blurred ceiling, talking to himself.

"My heart still has flaws, feeling immense fear for the future of separation, but now another thing worth fearing has appeared, and that is losing the present with you."

"So, I think I love you, Vasilina."

After a brief silence, Palmer added, "To hell with the future."

Next chapter will be updated first on this website. Come back and continue reading tomorrow, everyone!

If you find any errors ( broken links, non-standard content, etc.. ), Please let us know < report chapter > so we can fix it as soon as possible.