I swear to whatever god still logged into this forsaken game to see one of his or her creation squirming right now… Please have mercy on me, for I have sinned, for I have let my entire nervous system collapsed like a poorly constructed Jenga tower, like after the CIA planted demolition explosives on those towers, the moment I feel a woman's touch on my shoulder.

My brain cells turned to half-cooked noodles and started bouncing around inside my skull. The Titan of Ashen Bark loomed above us, glowing red veins pulsing, bark cracking, dome shimmering like molten glass, but all I could think about was how a woman was touching me.

And not just any woman. Olga.

I mean, I wasn't 100% sure yet, but the second those fingers clamped down, I could smell steel, pine sap, and something else metallic, and my instinct knew it was.

Do you know how hot Russian mommies are? My reactions are totally justified.

If there was anything on my system, it would be…

[Debuff acquired: Woman's Touch]

-50% Strength

-200% Composure

-∞% Coherent Thought

+70% Libido

I wanted to fight. I wanted to be cool. But inside, I was a worm in a puddle, wriggling, squealing, trying to hide from a raindrop.

She's holding me down, she's going to fuck me up. What do I do. Don't look weird, don't bend your knees. Oh god, what if she can feel my shoulder sweating.

Wait can avatars even sweat? SHUT UP, BRAIN.

"Listen."

Her voice cut through my spirals like an axe splitting wood. Low, rough, thick with that Russian drawl that could make the word 'potato' sound like a war cry.

Just because I'm afraid that she might recognize me as CJS69 and kill me, does not mean I'm not going to enjoy the pain before ultimately just win and kill her instead… But the thrill of being dominated would get me just enough high.

She leaned closer, her grip tightening just enough to make me feel about three inches tall.

"I'm with a guild, I think you've heard of us before, we're the New Destiny. We've been in all three phases of this raid, which means we've contributed a lot of damage, and will not be leaving empty-handed. A lot of loot will come to our hands."

Loot… Guild… Raid, okay, actual words I recognized. My lips opened, ready to reply, but then I thought about it for a second.

New Destiny… Never heard of that.

I know that Destiny would be the #1 All-Time guild in the PC version, followed by Omnitetris at #2, and Lion's Parade at #3…

New Destiny, probably rebranded after switching platform?

"Hi I'm… Uh, I'm… You can call me C."

I wasn't about to give up my name yet.

"Hello C, do you want to join us?" Olga continued, completely unfazed. "I know a strong player when I see one… You're wasting your talent out here, if you promise to stay and participate with us for a one week trial, help us clear some dungeons and whatnot, you'll get a share of the raid's loot. Though, note that we're sharing it among the entire guild, so I can't promise a lot."

Then, just as casually, she lifted her hand and my shoulder felt light, empty, bereft. I sucked in a greedy gulp of air like I'd been drowning under her palm.

But before I could force any syllables out, she was already stomping away, her greatsword dragging behind her, screeching against the dome floor.

"HEY! GREENHEART! GET YOUR ASS MOVING!"

I blinked, turned… And nearly swallowed my tongue.

Because there was a man approaching where Olga and I were standing.

Decked in shimmering arcane robes, staff glowing with pure energy, a mage with high-level gears that I almost recognize to be around level 25-35 stuff.

He raised his weapon, a ray of light began to build, it coiled, twisted and burned up… Before firing a jagged dart of violet straight into the Titan's body.

"Shield Breaker." He chanted as a mage.

And I saw it.

The shield was dropped in half. From around 30000 left (from 40000 but was cut down) to just 15000

My jaw dropped.

Shield Breaker? That's… My mind scrambled numbers, trying to remember.

That's a level 40 spellbook, which means only a level 40 player could use it... It was a rare spawn, too. With very low drop rate from a level 30 dungeon, and they just… they just have it? How many times have they run by that dungeon? I couldn't see myself grinding for something like this, it's a good spell, sure, but does it worth that much attention?

"Your guild is stacked," I muttered, basically gawking.

Olga glanced back at me, smirk sharp as a blade.

"The offer stands until this bastard dies, make up your mind quick."

Then she was gone again, hollering, leading the charge.

Her guild moved with her like a single organism, blades flashing, spells detonating, feet pounding in rhythm. The Titan staggered as cracks webbed through its dome, bark splintering.

And me? I paused for what felt like a minute straight, then I laughed

I laughed, I laughed and laughed… Half hysteria, half adrenaline

My sword came alive in my hands, sparks flew as I swung into the dome, cracks spiderwebbing wider.

"HAHAHAHAHA! FINE! I'M IN!" I screamed, drunk on the madness of it all.

Every strike rang in my bones, every fissure in the dome made my grin wider.

I know just what to do with this guild… I'm sorry Olga, but you shouldn't have trusted me.

The next week will be fun.

My shoulders shook with excitement, my chest rattled with manic joy. I felt unstoppable, untouchable, like I could split the whole damn forest with my laughter alone.

"NOW LET'S KILL THIS BASTARD!" I roared.

Olga laughed...

Loud, guttural, raw, she swung her greatsword, bark shattering in an explosion of splinters.

"That's my line, C you bastard," she growled, voice thick with glee. "We're going to get along just fine."

The dome wailed, fractures spreading wide.

The Titan shrieked, the sound tearing through the air, but all I could hear was her laughter beside mine.

The dome was broken, and the fight was just about to begin.

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