My Scumbag System

Chapter 50: Bartholomew the Beginning of an Empire


I shut my bedroom door and leaned against it, letting out a long, satisfied sigh. The scent of Natalia—her expensive shampoo, that vanilla lotion she pretends not to spend a fortune on, and something else uniquely her—still clung to my skin. My muscles ached in the best possible way.

"Well, well, well," I murmured to the empty room.

I collapsed onto my bed, staring at the ceiling, my mind replaying highlights from the past two days. Natalia bent over the kitchen counter. Natalia moaning against my neck in the shower. Natalia's eyes, wide and vulnerable, as I spun my ridiculous "Sovereign's Covenant" bullshit.

And she'd swallowed it whole.

"System," I said aloud. "Let's see the damage."

Blue light flooded my vision as the familiar interface materialized. My status screen hovered in the air before me:

SATORI NAKANO

Level: 1 | Title: None | Class: None | Schema Points: 285

ATTRIBUTES:

Strength: D-277 Endurance: D-291

Dexterity: D-208 Magic: F-110

Agility: D-231

ACTIVE ABILITIES (2/2):

Ember, Freezing Breath

PASSIVE ABILITIES (1/4):

Mysticism

SKILLS & TRAITS:

Charming Eyes, Intermediate Kama Sutra, Basic First Aid, Consort's Touch

I snorted. Two hundred and eighty-five SP wasn't bad for a month's work. From Zero to actual human being with functional muscles. A far cry from the pathetic sack of lard I'd been forced to inhabit when I first arrived in this world.

But what really caught my attention was something new. A previously locked tab on the interface, now glowing with faint purple light. It was labeled: \[ENSEMBLE\].

"What's this?" I tapped it. "Nel, care to explain your newest torture device?"

\[The Ensemble system allows you to formalize bonds. Turn loyalty... into fuel.\]

"So the bullshit I fed Natalia..."

\[...was remarkably close to the truth. Perhaps you're more intuitive than you appear, Host.\]

The interface expanded, revealing a single profile:

NATALIA KUZMINA

Title: \[The Keystone Pillar\]

Bond Rank: 4 \[Confidante\]

"Bond Rank 4 already? Damn, I must have really rocked her world." I grinned at the ceiling.

\[Bond Ranks progress from 1 to 10, with each threshold unlocking new benefits. At Rank 3, Natalia has unlocked her first Imbuement Slot, allowing you to grant her one of your Bronze or Silver tier abilities or traits.\]

"Hold up," I sat straight. "I can give her my abilities? Like, I can share my skills with her?"

\[Correct. As your bond deepens, additional slots will unlock, allowing for higher-tier imbuements. At Rank 5, she will begin generating Schema Points for you daily. At Rank 7, you will unlock a unique Duet Ability—a synergistic skill requiring both of you to activate.\]

I whistled low. "So they become my weapons, customized and loyal. And in return for my... generosity... they generate passive income for me."

\[Each woman in your Ensemble becomes both an extension of your power and a source of it. A true Sovereign rules through his court, not despite it.\]

This was... fucking brilliant. Back in my Yakuza days, building a power base meant years of blood and violence. Here, I just needed to get laid a lot. And not just random hookups—strategic conquests of exceptional women. Turn them loyal, customize their abilities, and reap passive income in the form of Schema Points.

"So if I wanted to give Natalia, say, my Freezing Breath ability..."

\[You would permanently lose access to it yourself. Imbuement is a transfer, not a copy.\]

"Well that's a shit deal," I muttered.

\[Consider the tactical advantages, Host. A telekinetic who can also freeze her projectiles. A healer who can generate flames to defend themselves. The combinations are limited only by your imagination and your ability to collect women with complementary skills.\]

Huh. So if I collected a frontline fighter, I could give her defensive abilities. If I found a ranger, I could add AOE attacks.

"Genius," I whispered. "Absolutely fucking genius."

I stared at Natalia's profile, at that tantalizing "\[Imbuement Slot 1: Empty\]" underneath her stats. The temptation to immediately gift her something was strong, but I resisted. Better to wait, to think strategically. Some of my current abilities were too valuable to give away.

Speaking of abilities, my eyes drifted to the ridiculously opulent terrarium sitting on my desk. The tiny castle, the miniature drawbridge, the little moat—all bought for an immortal snail I hadn't even summoned yet. The memory of Natalia's laughter in the pet store pulled a genuine smile from me.

"How long do snails even live?" I wondered aloud, pulling out my phone to Google it.

Two to five years. Pathetic.

"Sorry, Bartholomew," I said to the empty terrarium. "Seems like immortality is your only selling point."

\[Familiar summoning requires a small catalyst of your own life force. A single drop of blood placed on a prepared surface will suffice.\]

"Really? Blood magic? Could you be any more cliché?" I rolled my eyes but grabbed a small dish from my inventory anyway. Using a clean pocket knife, I pricked my finger and squeezed a ruby droplet onto the ceramic.

I placed the dish inside the terrarium's castle, feeling incredibly stupid.

"Come forth, Bartholomew the Immortal!" I declared with exaggerated pomposity, raising my hands like a B-movie wizard. "Your king commands it!"

For a moment, nothing happened. Then, a blinding bronze light erupted from the blood drop. A low hum vibrated up my arm from the desk, and the air grew thick, tasting of ozone. The pressure built for a second, then vanished as quickly as it came, leaving behind...

A perfectly ordinary brown garden snail materialized inside the tiny castle doorway.

It extended its eye stalks, wiggled them experimentally, then began the excruciatingly slow journey toward a piece of premium organic lettuce I'd placed in the terrarium earlier.

I stared at it.

And stared.

And kept staring.

"I spent fifty Schema Points... on a garden snail," I said flatly. "It's not glowing. It's not breathing fire. It doesn't even have a tiny crown or something. It's just... a snail."

The absurdity hit me all at once, and I collapsed onto my bed, seized by uncontrollable laughter.

"Oh my god," I gasped between fits of laughter. "I have the world's most powerful supernatural System, and it gave me a normal fucking snail!"

I wiped tears from my eyes, glancing back at the terrarium. Bartholomew had progressed approximately one inch toward his lettuce. At this rate, he might reach it before I graduated from New Vein Academy.

"Don't worry, buddy," I told him, still chuckling. "At least you're immortal. You'll outlive us all."

I returned my attention to my SP total: 285. Enough for a nice shopping spree at Apollo's discount supernatural Walmart. The memory of the bat and snail stung, but the gambler's itch was already scratching at my brain. Maybe my luck had changed.

"Yo, Apollo!" I called out, opening the Gacha interface. "You got something good for me today? Or is it another addition to the petting zoo? Bartholomew's getting lonely. Maybe a perpetually disappointed hamster? A fruit fly with crippling anxiety?"

The interface shimmered in response. Instead of the usual "Pull" button, new text scrolled across the screen in flashy golden letters:

\[Your Patron finds your wit... adequate. A new Banner has been prepared, tailored to the needs of a rising Sovereign.\]

The screen changed, displaying a new, limited-time Gacha banner. The featured image showed a silhouette of a woman wreathed in shadows, holding a pair of wicked-looking daggers. Below it, the text read:

\[RATE UP BANNER: "NYX'S EMBRACE." Increased chance to acquire Skills, Items, and Traits related to Stealth, Assassination, and Information Gathering.\]

\[Featured Grand Prize (Legendary): FAMILIAR - "Lilaela" - A loyal and effective queen of the night.\]

My amusement vanished, replaced by cold, calculating focus. This wasn't random. The System—or the gods, or whatever cosmic sadists were pulling the strings—they knew my next target was Emi, Natalia's bubbly healer friend.

But this banner wasn't for a healer.

This was a banner for an assassin.

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