My Living Shadow System Devours To Make Me Stronger

Chapter 764: Loss Of Self


"You've gone soft… you don't even know where you're going or what you need to do."

The reflection mocked him, its voice echoing faintly as if the air itself was sneering.

"Thats why you're always contradicting yourself…. Ashcroft had a plan he had a path he was absolutely certain of …. Then there's you.."

The insults kept coming, each word growing more vile than the last. They hung in the reflective air like poison.

Damon bit his lip as he walked toward the distant cathedral. His steps were slow, heavy, the ground shimmering beneath him like liquid glass.

He could feel it in his chest, a certainty pressing like stone. He would not pass the Trial of Truth. All he could do was delay the inevitable.

"You're right," Damon admitted. He forced a small smile, the muscles in his face tightening unnaturally.

"And that is a problem… for you … you want to be me so bad … yet you forget that I don't tell the truth … at least my shadow mimics my actions then there's a reflection acting differently from the person casting it…"

The reflection chuckled, lips stretching into a mocking grin that mirrored Damon's face a little too perfectly.

"Bold of you to assume anyone wants to be like you no one even likes you.. personality… shit ….. morality zero.. a bit high and mighty aren't we … then again all you are is a loser with an ego.."

It glanced at Damon with a cold, sideways look as they walked, its gait smooth and effortless compared to his tense stride.

"I'm not trying to be a failure.. I'm the upgrade.."

A tremor ran through Damon's fingers, but he curled his hands into fists to steady himself. He had to reach the cathedral. He had to convince himself none of this was true. He just needed to buy time.

"Funny you would say that …" he murmured.

Damon smiled as he walked through the reflective world, his boots rippling the ground like water.

"Morality is a privilege someone who has no reason to lie wouldn't lie. Someone who isn't cornered into theft by starvation will no doubt point fingers because they have the privilege to be moral."

He closed his eyes for a moment, feeling his legs grow heavier, as if every step fought against sinking into the world itself.

"Nevertheless we are all sinners. The only difference is people choose their own sins and they judge others based on a sin that is different from theirs take lies for instance.

We lie everyday even though it's a sin but when we are lied to we act as if we have never lied ourselves… we justify our own sins."

The reflection scoffed softly, a small puff of disdain in its voice.

"Pathetic attempt to buy yourself the time you don't have … you can't argue about Morality with me .. I have committed no sins …. I only existed but mere moments ago when you came into this world."

Damon's cold smile sharpened, his gaze narrowing.

"Then you admit you are not real and therefore just a false reflection…"

The reflection chuckled again.

"Lies and trickery is second nature to you … I already knew that. I knew you would lead the conversation in this direction…"

It wore a long smile that stretched across its face, disturbingly wide yet still a perfect imitation of Damon's.

"I'm what you could have been…yet this is what you are.."

As it spoke those words, Damon heard something. A voice whispering from the reflective surfaces around him. He stiffened. He tried to stay still, to avoid looking, to ignore it.

But it was too late.

His body turned against his will, his neck twisting slowly until he faced what he had been avoiding.

A figure knelt on the reflective ground, tears dripping onto the polished surface. His long dark hair fell around small horns like those of a demon, and two wide black wings hung behind him, bent and broken.

It was Damon. Older, more worn. More humanly shattered.

His hands trembled violently as he begged pleaded and bowed before a glowing symbol.

Damon knew that symbol. He had seen it countless times.

The Unknown God.

The older Damon cried out.

"I beg you… I beg…" He slammed his head onto the ground again and again, the sound of bone meeting glass echoing sharply.

"I don't want to die please…. help me …"

"I surrender to your divine will… please.."

The sight made Damon's breath catch. His chest tightened. The Damon on the ground was a future version of himself. Older and more desperate, completely broken.

He shook his head slowly.

"No… thats not me…"

The reflection scoffed, a soft smile playing at its lips.

"Ahhh is that so …. We've already established that I cannot lie and you know that… I am a reflection of who you are… and I have shown you."

It stopped walking, turning fully toward Damon, who stood frozen as he watched himself bow and break.

"God is almighty, powerful and transcendent.. you of all people have felt his limitless power. There is no one and nothing that can stand in his way …"

Damon's heart tightened as memories flooded him. He had felt the Unknown God's power firsthand. With a single word the god had brought the entire world, Damon included, to a standstill. None could move without his permission.

He had inverted life and death as easily as breathing.

To go against him was impossible. Laughable. A possibility lower than negative infinity.

Damon could die. But he could never submit. That was the one thing that kept him alive. The only thing that allowed him to endure. The ego of the nobody who refused to kneel.

"You would rather go out in a blaze of glory.." the reflection whispered.

"Its just death." Damon whispered back. He felt his hands stiffen. He glanced down and saw the tips of his fingers turning smooth and glossy, transforming into reflective mirror.

"Thats not me.."

"Then why does the truth hurt so much? We both know you'll succeed at everything except dying… you can't escape.."

Damon's heart went still as the voice faded under the rising sound of glass crawling over his skin. His body was becoming a statue of a mirror.

In the distance, he saw a dark armored figure sprinting toward him. Her expression was desperate.

Yet she was too far. She would never reach him in time.

He sighed softly.

"Sorry Luna … looks like I'll be tapping out early …"

The figure running toward him was Matia. Her hand formed a spear of ice and she hurled it with a thunderous crack. It struck his reflection, shattering it into countless shards.

But the spear did not stop. It hurtled toward Damon. The only part of him left unfrozen was his head.

Then he heard Matia's voice, frantic and pleading.

"You have to admit… the truth."

She had been shouting that from the moment she appeared. He only heard her now.

"Please…" she begged.

Damon exhaled. Matia had overcome the trial. This world no longer held sway over her.

"The truth huh…"

He glanced at the fractured reflection beside him. What truth did he need to admit?

He had only one chance. So he blurted out random confessions.

"I killed Carmen Vale ..."

"I killed Xander's brother."

"I'm Amon … I hate.. ahhh… dammit…"

Matia reached him and pressed frost over his body, trying desperately to slow the spread. She looked into his eyes. Damon saw the fear in her expression… the raw desperation.

He sighed.

Then he closed his eyes and whispered.

"I'm afraid."

The mirror stopped.

"I believe my defiance is absolute. I believe death is my liberation. I believe I fear nothing."

His voice trembled.

"But the Seraph showed me the one thing I buried:

I am terrified of becoming the Unknown God's puppet.

I am terrified that all my choices are illusions. I am terrified that every step is manipulated.

I am terrified of my lack of control.

I do not fear death. I fear control."

Damon admitted what he never wanted to say. What every part of him resisted.

"I am afraid someone else is writing my destiny."

The sound of cracking glass boomed outward. Damon broke free from the trial. A white light washed over him.

When his vision cleared, he stood in a white room. At the center, Lazarak glared coldly at a strange entity.

Matia rushed to him and wrapped him in a relieved hug.

Damon had been the last to complete the Trial.

"Ahh this really is a liars nightmare."

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