Morning dawned with ceremonial drums, thunderclouds of ego, and one banner that said:

> "Exchange Tournament — Victory Brings Honor, Defeat Brings Existential Crisis!"

The Academy of Elegant Malevolence had converted its entire courtyard into a grand arena.

Azure Sky elders sat in nervous rows, clutching incense and paperwork.

Evil Path instructors leaned forward with smiles that said "We bet souls on this."

Headmaster Yan Luo stood on a hovering platform, voice booming across the valley:

"Disciples! Today, righteousness and wickedness shall exchange not insults, but techniques!"

He paused, then muttered, "Probably insults too."

---

Li Ming watched from the judging platform, sipping tea as if none of this concerned him.

He wore the black-and-blue robes of both sects — the official symbol of "please don't start another cosmological merger."

Beside him sat Yin Qing, arms folded, looking simultaneously beautiful and deeply done with everyone.

"Remind me," she said, "why you're judging instead of fighting?"

Li Ming gestured lazily to his teacup. "I already transcended effort yesterday."

"You mean you broke the cafeteria."

"Details."

---

Across the arena, a young Azure Sky disciple stepped forward, radiating righteousness so hard it caused mild eye strain.

"I, Lu Feiyan, challenge the forces of evil in the name of virtue!"

Her opponent — a grinning Evil Path cultivator with skull embroidery and surprisingly polite posture — bowed.

"I, Meng Zixu, shall demonstrate evil's commitment to proper technique and casual disrespect!"

Yin Qing leaned forward. "This should be good."

Li Ming raised a bamboo placard labeled "Judging Criteria."

The list read:

1. Power

2. Creativity

3. Emotional Damage

4. Narrative Impact

---

The duel began with explosions of qi, sword-light, and dramatic declarations.

Half the arena filled with white lotus petals; the other half erupted in black flame.

Spiritual beasts appeared just to add atmosphere.

Li Ming watched silently, sipping tea.

Then, after a long moment, he held up a sign: 7.8/10

"Excellent form," he said, "but the moral symbolism was a bit on-the-nose."

Both combatants blinked.

Lu Feiyan stammered, "What— but I struck with divine justice!"

"Yes, but justice monologues are overdone. Try subtext next time."

Meng Zixu coughed. "And my Shadow Lotus Formation?"

"Strong start, but lacked emotional follow-through."

Yin Qing pinched the bridge of her nose. "You're grading them like novels."

He nodded. "Cultivation is literature with explosions."

---

By the third match, the audience had split into factions.

One half argued spiritual philosophy; the other began rating duels like food critics.

"Great sword intent, but underseasoned qi."

"Her demonic laugh had depth!"

"That lightning could've used more foreshadowing."

Li Ming sat serenely, taking notes like a disappointed teacher at a talent show.

"Consistency," he muttered, "is the difference between power and plot armor."

---

Then came the problem match.

Two prodigies from both sects stepped in — one wielding pure yang flame, the other corrupted yin frost.

Their clash was instant and catastrophic.

Pillars of energy roared, warping the sky.

Yan Luo raised his barrier, shouting, "Contain it!"

Li Ming didn't move.

Yin Qing hissed, "You're just going to watch?"

"Correction," Li Ming said calmly, "I'm analyzing. They're about to discover spiritual resonance collapse."

A heartbeat later, both combatants froze midair — their techniques canceling in perfect opposition.

They hung suspended, unable to move, glaring murderously at each other.

Yin Qing blinked. "They're stuck."

"See?" Li Ming said. "Analysis complete."

"Fix it!"

He sighed, stood up, and tapped his finger once.

The air rippled — his own dual-qi gently separating theirs like a teacher pulling apart toddlers with swords.

Both disciples crashed to the ground, dizzy but unharmed.

The crowd gasped.

Even the Headmaster muttered, "Effortless control…"

Li Ming dusted his sleeves. "Seventeen years well spent."

Yin Qing arched a brow. "Seventeen?"

He blinked. "…What?"

"You're seventeen?" she said incredulously. "You caused metaphysical chaos before your second decade of life?"

Bai Guo fluttered by, chirping, "Chronologically seventeen, metaphysically timeless!"

Li Ming scowled. "You're not helping."

---

When the final match ended, Yan Luo announced,

"In light of today's… creative judging, both sides are declared spiritually traumatized but educationally victorious!"

Thunderous applause followed.

Mostly relief.

Yin Qing turned to him. "So. Judge, philosopher, accidental Dao-founder. What's next?"

He sipped his tea thoughtfully. "Nap."

She stared. "…That's your grand plan?"

He smiled faintly. "Even chaos needs rest between acts."

Bai Guo chirped, "He means he's out of plot energy!"

---

That night, the Evil Academy recorded a new entry in its chronicles:

> "At the age of seventeen, Li Ming of Azure Sky judged a battle between good and evil using narrative critique and accidentally stabilized three qi anomalies while doing so."

P.s: never let him host again."

---

The moon hung over the Academy of Elegant Malevolence like a quiet witness to collective humiliation.

In every courtyard, disciples whispered the same words in hushed awe:

> "Seventeen."

"He's seventeen."

"That explains nothing and somehow everything."

---

Inside the guest pavilion, Li Ming lounged on a jade recliner meant for meditation and currently being used as a footrest.

Bai Guo was nibbling spiritual melon seeds. Yin Qing stood by the window, gazing at the arena's distant glow.

"The entire academy is rewriting its manuals because of you," she said dryly. "They've added a section called 'Philosophical Interference During Combat.'"

Li Ming yawned. "Reasonable precaution."

"You gave a lecture on narrative structure mid-battle."

He shrugged. "Understanding your own character arc is half of cultivation."

Bai Guo chirped, "The other half is snacks."

Yin Qing sighed. "Your existence is a bad influence."

"Correct," Li Ming said serenely. "But an efficient one."

---

Moments later, Headmaster Yan Luo appeared without warning—his arrival heralded by faint thunder and the smell of expensive ink.

"Li Ming," he said in that polite tone used by powerful people who aren't sure if they're addressing a prodigy or a natural disaster, "your performance today has… shifted several balances."

Li Ming sat up. "Is that a compliment or a threat?"

"Both," Yan Luo said. "Our divination mirrors have been flickering since you graded that duel a seven-point-eight."

Bai Guo blinked. "You broke fate's rating system!"

Yin Qing groaned. "Of course he did."

Yan Luo continued, "Several Evil Path elders now believe your sect has cultivated a 'Philosopher-Saint of Moral Paradox.'"

Li Ming frowned. "That title sounds taxable."

"Regardless," Yan Luo said, "the balance between sects has tilted. To prevent unnecessary panic, we will hold a Joint Practical Exchange tomorrow. Disciples from both sides will cooperate on a simple task—hunting a mid-tier spirit beast in the Cursed Bamboo Forest."

Li Ming perked up. "Hunting? Finally something practical."

Yin Qing crossed her arms. "And who's leading this expedition?"

"You, naturally," the Headmaster said with cruel gentleness. "Both sects trust you."

Li Ming stared. "You mean they ran out of people willing to volunteer."

"Semantics," Yan Luo replied, already turning to leave. "Depart at dawn. Try not to start an ideology war."

When he vanished, Bai Guo muttered, "He didn't even pretend to believe that."

---

Later that night, while most disciples meditated or gossiped, Li Ming wandered the dark courtyards. The dual lotus mark on his palm glowed faintly, casting twin shadows—one righteous, one wicked—across the ground.

He studied it thoughtfully. "Yin and yang, harmony and chaos, tea and nap… all coexisting peacefully. Maybe that's the real Dao."

Yin Qing, walking beside him, raised an eyebrow. "You're serious?"

"About naps? Always."

She smirked. "Seventeen, and already preaching laziness as enlightenment."

He smiled faintly. "If enlightenment requires effort, then it's just bureaucracy."

Bai Guo flapped excitedly. "Descendant, that's going in the scriptures!"

"Don't you dare," Li Ming warned.

---

By morning, rumors had spread faster than qi through cheap talismans.

> "He's secretly an immortal trapped in a teen body!"

"No, he's a demonic sage cursed to look cute!"

"I heard his tea spirit ascended last week!"

As Li Ming arrived at the assembly ground, every disciple—righteous and evil alike—took one step back.

He sighed. "Perfect. Respect through collective fear."

Yin Qing muttered, "That's the Evil Path way."

"Then I'm blending cultures beautifully."

---

Headmaster Yan Luo's voice echoed from the sky. "Expedition teams assembled! Objective: hunt the Spirit-Devouring Bamboo Tiger. Cooperation is mandatory."

A murmur ran through the crowd.

Li Ming raised a hand lazily. "Question. Can cooperation be theoretical?"

"No," came Yan Luo's voice, "and you're not allowed to nap mid-mission."

Gasps. Whispers.

How did he know?

Li Ming sighed. "Very well. I shall demonstrate practical unity through minimum effort."

Yin Qing pinched her nose. "This is going to be catastrophic."

Bai Guo sparkled with joy. "That means entertaining!"

---

As the mixed group departed toward the misty forest, the sun glinted off Li Ming's dual-colored robe.

Somewhere behind him, disciples whispered legends already forming.

> "The Idle Calamity leads again…"

"May the heavens watch over us."

"No, may they stay out of it—he breaks heavens."

Li Ming glanced at Yin Qing and grinned.

"Ready for another peaceful cultural exchange?"

She drew her sword. "Define peaceful."

He poured tea mid-stride. "No one dies. Ideally."

To be continued...

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