I only wanted to kill a chicken, not split the heaven

Chapter 119: The thunderbub trials


The morning mist hung over Azure Sky's east courtyard.

A training ground, rebuilt twice already this week.

Li Ming stood at its center with a firm expression and the expression of a man who'd lost arguments to both fate and fur.

Lei Shan sat before him, tail swishing, chewing on a spiritual pebble that crackled like hard candy.

"Today," Li Ming said gravely, "we learn discipline."

Lei Shan blinked once. Then sneezed.

The pebble vaporized.

Bai Guo, sitting on the fence, clucked his tongue. "Strong start."

---

Li Ming ignored him and drew a line on the ground with his sword.

"You stay on this side. I stay on that side. No crossing unless I say so."

Lei Shan tilted his head, thought about it for approximately one second, and hopped across the line.

Li Ming exhaled slowly. "Back."

Lei Shan stared blankly, then stepped back across the line… and drew another line next to it with a spark of lightning, mimicking him perfectly.

Bai Guo leaned forward. "He's improved your design."

Li Ming rubbed his temple. "He's mocking me."

The cub wagged his tail proudly.

---

After several failed "sit" commands (which ended with small craters), Li Ming switched tactics.

"Alright. Let's practice control. No lightning. Just Qi flow. Gentle, like breathing."

He demonstrated—

Qi rising, spiraling smoothly through his meridians.

Lightning hummed faintly around his arm.

Lei Shan watched intently.

Then closed his eyes.

A faint aura pulsed around him—delicate, elegant, perfectly balanced.

Li Ming's brows rose. "Good. See? Like—"

Then the aura exploded into thirty miniature lightning rings that formed a halo over the courtyard.

Every ring released a faint musical tone, harmonizing into a celestial chorus.

Bai Guo stared up, open-beaked. "He just invented divine acoustics."

Li Ming looked between the glowing sky and the tiny smug cub. "...I hate how talented you are."

Lei Shan chirped twice and wagged his tail as if saying, praise accepted.

---

An hour later, half the sect was gathered outside the courtyard wall.

Disciples whispered excitedly.

"Is that the legendary Lightning Halo Formation?"

"No, that's Li Ming's pet doing morning stretches."

"I thought he was banned from the eastern courtyard."

"He was. Again."

Bai Guo, perched on the roof, called down, "Descendant, you're trending!"

Li Ming didn't even look up. "Fantastic. I've always dreamed of public humiliation as a cultivation path."

Lei Shan trotted over, proudly carrying a training sword in his mouth. It was three times his size and dragging a line of sparks.

He dropped it at Li Ming's feet, looked up expectantly.

"You… want to spar?"

Chirp!

Li Ming sighed, drew his own blade. "Fine. But gentle strikes only."

---

Ten seconds later, Lei Shan blurred.

Lightning flared.

Li Ming's blade flew out of his hand and embedded itself in a rock.

The cub sat down neatly and wagged his tail.

The watching disciples applauded.

Bai Guo called down, "Masterful. Truly inspiring."

Li Ming crossed his arms. "You're enjoying this too much."

"Absolutely."

---

Later that evening, as the courtyard finally dimmed and the curious crowd dispersed, Li Ming lay flat on the grass while Lei Shan used his stomach as a pillow.

"You," Li Ming muttered, "have single-handedly outperformed every new disciple and three elders."

Lei Shan yawned. Tiny sparks drifted from his mouth and formed the faint shape of a heart.

Bai Guo chuckled from a branch. "At least he loves you, descendant. It's the only thing saving the sect from disciplinary meetings."

Li Ming looked at the sleeping cub, the faint glow reflecting in his eyes.

He sighed. "…If he ever learns to talk, I'm in real trouble."

---

Morning had turned into controlled madness.

Li Ming stood knee-deep in shattered training dummies. Beside him, Lei Shan bounced in circles, puffing sparks like a festival lantern that didn't understand moderation.

"Alright," Li Ming said, wiping sweat off his brow. "Lesson two. Obedience."

Here, bai guo was thinking " even u don't have obedience, why are u torturing a child? "

Lei Shan froze, ears twitching.

"When I say stop, you stop. Understood?"

The cub nodded solemnly.

Li Ming smiled. "Good. Now—sit."

Lei Shan sat.

Li Ming blinked. "Wait, really? You actually—"

Lei Shan immediately stood, turned around three times, and plopped down on Li Ming's boot instead.

Bai Guo, lounging on a tree branch, chirped, "He technically obeyed. Just… geographically re-interpreted the order."

Li Ming sighed. "That's not obedience. That's mockery with extra fur."

---

He tried hand signals next.

One for "come," one for "stay," one for "please-stop-electrifying-everything."

Lei Shan understood none of them—but mastered the art of "roll over dramatically to avoid responsibility."

At one point, Li Ming pointed toward a wooden post and commanded, "Attack!"

The cub squinted at the post… then padded over, sniffed it, and gently pushed it down with a paw.

Bai Guo whistled. "Merciful technique. Efficient, zero collateral."

"...I'm training a saint, not a beast," Li Ming muttered.

Lei Shan chirped proudly, chest puffed out.

---

By noon, the sun burned overhead, and Li Ming's patience was leaking faster than his dignity.

He tried meditation. He tried treats. He even tried bargaining with heaven.

Nothing worked.

Finally, he sat cross-legged and looked Lei Shan dead in the eyes.

"You're going to grow up into something terrifying one day," he said quietly. "So, at least pretend you listen."

Lei Shan blinked… then carefully padded over, head-butted Li Ming's chest once, and flopped into his lap.

The sudden warmth startled him. Sparks tickled his arms, but they didn't burn—just pulsed gently with a rhythm that matched his own heartbeat.

Bai Guo tilted his head. "Huh. He's syncing Qi with you."

Li Ming glanced down at the cub sleeping soundly, tail flicking in contentment.

"…You're impossible," he whispered.

The forest answered with quiet birdsong, and for a moment the chaos seemed worth it.

---

Later, when they returned to the sect gates, Lei Shan strutted proudly beside Li Ming, a small vine crown resting on his head—gifted by some junior disciples who thought he was "too cute to discipline."

Bai Guo landed on Li Ming's shoulder, voice smug.

"Descendant, you've lost control."

"I never had it," Li Ming replied flatly.

They passed two elders arguing about the "beast child" terrorizing the kitchens again.

Bai Guo leaned close. "We should probably pretend we don't know him."

Lei Shan, hearing that, turned his head and zapped Bai Guo's tail feathers—just enough to make him squawk.

Li Ming tried not to smile. "Good aim, little thunderbub."

---

That night, as the sect lights flickered out and the moonlight glinted off Lei Shan's horns, Li Ming lay awake.

The cub was curled beside him, tail wrapped around his wrist like a warm rope of Qi.

"Subdue the beast, they said," Li Ming murmured. "Simple mission, they said."

Lei Shan let out a tiny, satisfied chirp.

Li Ming sighed, closing his eyes. "Fine. But tomorrow—you're learning fetch."

Bai Guo's voice drifted from the windowsill.

"I predict catastrophic success."

To be continued...

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