Today's Earth date: April 13, 1992

Sooooo… We delayed our trip to Bata because Wilmond finally admitted he didn't know how to swim. With all of our Diary powers, being able to swim isn't one of them. He's pretty embarrassed about it, but I guess a lot of inner-city kids can't. They just never get the chance to learn.

Rathain taught swim classes one summer as a lifeguard. If he can keep five-year-olds from drowning, hopefully he can do the same for Wilmond.

We told Wilmond that no matter what, he's wearing floaties the entire time we're at sea. He thinks we're joking.

-The Journal of Laszlo the Paladin

Sammy was thrilled when the party returned, reacting with the enthusiasm of someone stranded on an island finally boarding a rescue boat. Vanilli seemed happy to see the party as well, but his time in the Water Temple made him far more adept at passing long stretches of time with little more than his own mind to occupy him.

Though it was already past noon, the party happily packed the wagon in preparation to hit the road. The rain had stopped, and everyone was desperate for a hot bath, warm meal, and a comfortable bed. The biggest item on Wayne's list was testing what happened if he tried adding Sammy and Vanilli to the group chat with Repeater Telegraph.

[chat]

W: Can you see this message?

S: how do i talk

S: oh am i doing it?

W: Yes. Vanilli?

V: I am here. Is this a Diary window?

F: You see a Diary window?!

[/chat]

Wayne hadn't considered the implications of adding a non-Diary user to a Diary-powered system. Upon accepting the invite, both Sammy and Vanilli could activate a HUD and open system menus, but their access was even more limited than what Wayne had when he first isekaied to this world.

Their menus had the option to activate "Telegraph" but every other window and piece of text was hidden by garbled graphic artifacts. When they used Telegraph, they had all the same customization options as the Zeroes. Sammy and Vanilli could adjust their notification settings and manipulate how messages appeared on their HUD without trouble.

Vanilli said he had something he wanted to share before they departed. "I know we have been away from comfort for some time, but I had an idea for harvesting siren traps."

Wayne and Fergus both stopped fussing with their gear to give their quartermaster their full attention.

"By all means," Fergus said, encouraging Vanilli to continue.

"I read that the process of maturation varies a great deal for creatures on this planet. While a baby snake can already be as poisonous as the adult variety, many scorpions are not venomous until they near adulthood."

Fergus nodded approvingly. "Interesting reading."

"I'm trying to learn what I can of my new home."

"Yes, of course," Fergus said. "I'm in full support of that."

"We might find that harvesting a juvenile siren trap is safer than doing the same with an adult. If that is the case, perhaps Forgemaster tools can then remove the danger from the flower before it blooms."

"That's some clever thinking."

Wayne thought for a moment. "Aren't our tools limited to skeleton forging, though?"

"The tools call those 'templates,' if my translation is correct," Vanilli replied.

Before he could continue, Fergus cut in. "And it is correct because I'm the one who did the translation."

Vanilli nodded. "Yes, if Fergus' translation is correct."

Fergus winced. "Why do you keep saying 'if?'"

Wayne waved Fergus off so Vanilli could finish his thought.

"The tools allow for freehand creation beyond its provided templates," the demon said. "Failure is the most likely outcome, but if I can contribute in this way, I'd like to try."

As much as he tried to recall the details of the siren trap, Wayne's memory was fuzzy. He was so focused on rescuing Sammy that he paid very little attention to the flower patch itself. As soon as he cut their cook free of the monster plant, he returned to the wagon as quickly as he could. Vanilli's idea about harvesting juvenile siren traps was a good one, though. Wayne had one lingering concern.

"I'm on board for all of this," he said, "but I am still concerned about transporting a plant we know so little about. If it matures enough to use its song while we're on the wagon…"

"Simple," Vanilli replied. "We allow Paula Abdul to protect us with her voice."

"I mean no offense to Miss Abdul, but we can't listen to one cassette every hour of every day until we reach Vientuls."

"My boombox would have no trouble doing so."

Wayne laughed. "Humans are weird about repetition. The same thing over and over can mess with our minds and emotions. We're likely to get irritable, annoyed, frustrated."

"What an odd weakness."

Fergus raised a finger to interrupt. "We don't need the music unless the flower begins to sing, and Vanilli is immune. If it does start to sing, Vanilli can break the spell with his music. Then we decide whether we dump the flower or endure until we reach Vientuls."

"Are you okay with that kind of responsibility?" Wayne asked Vanilli.

"Have I not saved you from the flowers before?"

"I'm not saying you aren't capable," Wayne replied, gently. "I'm asking if you mind doing it again. Those are two different things."

"I do not mind."

Armond leaned out of the back of the wagon. Unbeknownst to Wayne, the cleric had heard the entire conversation. "Just so I'm understanding this… The plan is to put a man-eating plant monster in our wagon then take it to a town full of people?"

You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

"I believe that's accurate," Fergus answered.

"Understood. No such thing as a normal day for this party I guess."

The easiest way for the Zeroes to find a patch of siren traps was to listen for their music. That was also the most likely way to get them killed.

Uncomfortable with the idea of taking such a risk with no redundancies concerned Wayne, so he summoned Quarterback bot.

"Walk alongside the wagon. If any of us leaves the road, press this button and do your best to keep the party near the wagon." Wayne pointed to the Play button on Vanilli's boombox.

Quarterback bot nodded and dutifully kept pace with the wagon.

At some point on the party's way toward Drumin's Divide, Wayne was startled awake by a familiar "Oh! Oh! Oh!"

The rest of the party shared his dazed expression and winced at the max volume of the boombox.

[chat]

V: They are close.

W: Okay, plan hasn't changed. Once we get a bead on the direction of the flowers, Armond and Fergus will take the boombox and the wagon out of siren range. Once Hector's done, of course.

[/chat]

Hector had drawn the short straw. His job was to succumb to the siren song long enough to point Wayne and Vanilli in the right direction. The process was simple: Vanilli stopped and started the music on the boombox to see where Hector began to walk. Meanwhile, the rest of the party sat on the wagon while Quarterback bot did his best to keep anyone from leaving during the navigation process.

Before the wagon left with Vanilli's boombox, Wayne blasted music of his own.

Random.

Song: Hangman

Artist: Jean Ritchie

Album: High Hills and Mountains

Genre: American Folk

Wayne smiled. He wasn't a diehard fan of American folk music, especially of the older variety he now heard, but listening to a song with English lyrics was a refreshing change of pace.

The patch of siren traps wasn't too far off the road, and now that he wasn't under duress, Wayne could appreciate the beauty of the red flowers. Their petals were akin to lilies in size and shape but grew low to the ground, their stems only a few inches long.

With the plucky sounds of folk music protecting Wayne from being eaten alive, he crouched at one end of the patch while Vanilli did the same at the other, both looking for young flowers that hadn't yet blossomed. They weren't difficult to find, and soon they had five dug out of the ground. Vanilli held them all in his arms.

They wouldn't be able to confirm if these were capable of singing or not until they were back at the wagon–because Vanilli couldn't turn Wayne's music back on if it was turned off–but Wayne was still pleasantly surprised by how smooth this was going.

Before they left, Wayne realized that other travelers could fall prey to these same flowers. So he used Tyris-Flare Fire Magic to burn down the rest while feeling guilty for not having done that the first time.

Soon, Wayne and Vanilli were back to the wagon. Quarterback bot stood in the road, and Paula Abdul still played on the stereo. Vanilli set the recovered flowers on the buckboard.

[chat]

W: Everyone ready to see if these sing?

A: We're ready.

W: Vanilli, are you ready to intervene?

V: Yes.

[/chat]

Wayne turned off his music first, and then Vanilli hit the stop button on the cassette player.

The party waited.

And waited.

"Seems Vanilli has a mind for science," Fergus praised. "This was a fantastic idea, my friend."

"Thank you."

Margo inspected the flowers. "I wonder how many people have seen siren traps in person."

"And lived?" Hector asked.

"Yes," Margo answered. "Can't be too many, right? We'll be one of the few when these bloom."

"If I succeed," Vanilli added.

Margo rubbed the demon's back. "I believe in you. If it's possible, I know you'll figure it out."

Vanilli seemed both uncomfortable yet uplifted with Margo's confidence. It occurred to Wayne that the demon had likely never heard words of encouragement before.

"This is one of those simple pleasures we've been talking about," Wayne said to the demon. "It's okay to enjoy it."

"In spite of the embarrassment?"

"Yes, because you can feel that way and also know that everyone around you wants the best for you. One doesn't cancel out the other."

Vanilli thought. "It is indeed a unique feeling having a friend say kind things."

"Margo has never told me she believes in me," Hector joked.

"Me neither," Armond added.

Sammy appeared. "She's told me a few times."

"You're a lovable person," Hector replied. "It's easier for you."

Vanilli put a hand on the barbarian's shoulder. "I believe in you, Hector."

"No fooling?"

"I do not jest."

Hector hugged Vanilli. The demon's arms hung limply at his side as Hector shook him back and forth.

When the mutual admiration festivities were complete, Wayne suggested the party be on their way. He repeated his instructions to Quarterback bot, mostly for his own comfort. A robot shouldn't forget or deviate from orders, but being certain put his mind more at ease.

After a few hours of quietly passing through the Cuts, Margo spoke up. "So… what's the word with you and Sheeri?"

Wayne stared straight ahead and shook his head.

"Oh come on."

Sighing, Wayne replied, "We had a nice time while she was in town, but she doesn't want anything serious."

"She turned you down?" Sammy asked.

"No, she did not 'turn me down.' We talked about it like adults."

"But she did say no," Margo added.

"Relationships are hard for her," Wayne said. "She outlives everyone she's ever met, and that process is too painful for her to do again, so she doesn't get attached."

"Alright, I won't bother you about it anymore," Margo promised. "Way to turn that around and make me feel bad."

Wayne laughed. "You're fine. When I was a kid, my grandfather said that you know you're getting older when you seem to be going to funerals all the time. Then you know you're really old when they slow down again."

Fergus nodded approvingly at that wisdom. "There is a great deal of truth in those words. Too much truth, actually. Sheeri's life would become nothing but funerals at some point."

"We're like dogs," Hector said. When Fergus gave him a raised eyebrow, he continued. "How long we live against how long she lives. We're like dogs."

Fergus whistled to express how impressed he was by the insight. "As much as I don't like thinking of myself as a pet, that puts it into perspective. I love cats. Always have. But my last one passed the year Wayne arrived, and I can't get another because I don't want to go through losing a friend even one more time."

Wayne saw that Vanilli listened to the conversation, not that he had much choice given that they all shared the same wagon, but he seemed thoughtful.

"It's probably rude of us to talk like this with you sitting right there," Wayne said. "I'm sorry that I didn't think about that sooner."

"Because I will outlive all of you?"

"Yes."

Vanilli shrugged. "I don't mind."

Everyone on the wagon broke into laughter.

When they calmed, Vanilli asked, "Is having a pet dog or a cat a simple pleasure?"

"Without a doubt," Fergus answered.

Vanilli thought for a moment. "How many cats have you owned?"

"Mr. Merlot was my ninth." Fergus shot glares at the rest of the party. "Go ahead, make fun of his name."

No one dared.

"Then I should be okay," Vanilli said. "I have a few humans to go before I won't want any others."

"Hey!" Hector yelled. "We're not your pets."

"Did you not say that humans are dogs in the eyes of a demon?"

"I said like dogs, not that we were dogs."

"You are well trained, though," Vanilli said.

Hector stared at the demon, dumbfounded. The others laughed and Margo clapped.

"Well done, Vanilli," she said, sincerely. "That was beautiful."

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