Fall of Autumn, Week 4, Day 7

I took a small sip, letting the flavors run over my tongue. It tasted like masala chai and had a deeper flavor that I couldn't name, reminiscent of allspice. The whipped cream left a line above my lip, and I wiped it off carefully with a napkin, placing the cloth back down and folding it back into a triangle.

"So, glassworks after this?" I hummed, taking another sip of the Mistlight Latte. As I picked it up, sparkles shimmered in the light atop the cream.

"Whatever you please, my Lady," Sylvie said. "But I would recommend keeping to a budget for today. You do not get your new allowance until Rise of Winter."

"Oh?" I turned to Sylvie, my eyes on her silver hair. "How much do I have left for the next week?"

Sylvie flipped her hand over, and a small velvet bag manifested into existence.

"Juniper, can you count?"

Juniper's cheeks went pink, and she opened her mouth, closed it, and finally re-opened it. "I know my numbers, of course."

"Good, then take this." Sylvie slid the bag over to Juniper. "Now, your Lady has asked a question regarding her finances. As her Lady's Maid, it is your duty to remain informed. How much is remaining of Fall's allowance? Be quiet about it, though."

Sylvie glanced at Dame Arella, and the knight huffed then repositioned herself so Juniper and the bag before her could be hidden from the rest of the cafe.

Juniper closed her eyes, mouthed something to herself, and then began pulling out coins.

It began with coins wrapped in wax paper. It was just translucent enough to make out the colors underneath. There were roughly ten coins in each roll. And the rolls kept coming. It was several dozen seconds before she began pulling out loose coins instead of the paper rolls. Juniper only pulled out a handful of coins, but she meticulously laid them out with the respective rolls of the same denomination.

[Quick Calculation]

In my mind's eye, numbers overlaid the groupings and added themselves together. It was the new feature upon reaching Level 5. Anything I can see in its entirety will count itself and appear before me. Thus, I knew what Juniper was slowly counting.

It was 11 gold coins, 87 silver, and 105 copper coins.

A fortune for the average worker.

A budget? What does she expect I'll buy? A house? Three hundred pairs of shoes?

I sat, shocked, while Juniper counted out the loose coins and rolls before placing them back in the bag. She confirmed the amount, and I simply shook my head.

Is this how it's going to be forever? Everyone assuming I'm something I'm not?

Something filled me then, the thought of having to justify every purchase, having to prove myself—it filled me with a dreadful lethargy. I sighed before taking another sip of my drink.

"Never mind, I'd rather head back to the estate," I said, my voice defeated as I peered into the blue and white liquid of the Mistlight Latte.

"Nora?" Dame Arella asked, her voice pinched. I didn't look up to meet her eyes.

Sylvie cleared her throat, and, at that, I did look up. She was glaring at Dame Arella and gesturing for Juniper to hand the bag of coins back to her. With a swift movement, she flipped her hand, and the bag disappeared.

"Lady Nora wants to return to the Manor, Dame Arella, it is not out place to question her." Her droll voice and casual acceptance filled me with a feeling of being seen.

I didn't want to be coddled, just listened to. I didn't want someone who would analyze my every move. I just wanted to exist with my own agency. And so far, everyone at Fellan had given me that. And, of course, I treasured Dame Arella. She was the first to comfort me, to try to understand me, to reach out her hand. But she had too much of a need to guide me.

Dame Arella looked affronted by Sylvie's words, but I reached out my hand and gripped Dame Arella's.

"I'm fine, just tired of being out. I thought I wanted to see the glassworks, but really I just want to go back and relax."

It's a lie. I want to go to Twilight. I want to see if Theo is there.

"If that's what you want," Dame Arella sighed. "Finish your drink, and we'll head out."

I gave her a smile, however sad it was, in acknowledgment.

Theo.

I hadn't actually decided what to do about him.

I'd been putting him out of my mind. But the more I pushed it off, the more I felt like a coward. He was just a kid, just like little Eunora. There was only so much blame one could put on a child who was barely even ten years old. Sure, at some point, he knows right from wrong. But he also grew up with Eve and Raph above him.

Stolen novel; please report.

He said he was [Young Lord of Protection]. He likely got that in the course of protecting himself from the elder Dawns.

I released a heavy breath, and Juniper and Sylvie looked over at me. I ignored them, continuing to think through Theo's actions as I stared out the window of the carriage.

He ignored little Eunora—but he remembered her birthday. The only one at the estate who came to get her. Why? It was her day of Awakening, of course, but what did that mean? He wanted to know her [Class]. That's all he asks when he appears. It's his first question. He's desperate to know. He isn't used to not knowing, with his eidetic memory. Is that it?

But he said Eve stopped her bullying after his Awakening. That was outright untrue. She shot a bolt of mana at me! I blinked. But Eve didn't know I'd been Awakened for so long. No one did except for Theo.

And he reached out.

I pressed my face up against the window, letting the cold feel of the glass wash over my skin and help me focus.

Do I forget? No. Of course not. But the real question is: do I forgive?

A child. Do I forgive a child?

"I hate how I've regressed," I muttered into the window, so low no one could hear me.

Because the fact of the matter was that I had regressed. I didn't think like an adult, not truly. I was too emotional, too fueled by my own whims, too selfish. I relied on stuffed animals for comfort, no matter how sentient they could be. I clung to warmth like a starved beast.

Maybe I could offer some to another child in need.

Or, I thought, maybe I can heal little Eunora's relationship with Theo for her.

It was a quick trip back to the Manor—home, I suppose I ought to call it. And as soon as we came to a stop, and Sir Neil opened the door to let me out, I all but bolted for Twilight.

Yet, as I ascended the steps that led to the Manor, I caught sight of Gristle standing by the front door with a mild smile on his face.

"Lady Nora," he greeted. "Do you have a moment?"

Freezing in place, I looked up at Gristle and furrowed my eyebrows. "Why?"

"I would like to prepare you for First Day," he said, his eyes flicking to Sylvie and Juniper, who were hot on my heels.

"Can't we do that tomorrow?" I said, a pleading tone to my voice that bordered on whining.

"I'll be off tomorrow, my Lady. It's the Day of Rest. All but a few of the maids and cooks will be away from the Manor." He tutted, his hands shifting to his hips. "And it wouldn't do to have you be caught unaware."

"It wouldn't," I agreed sadly and gestured for Gristle to lead the way.

He promptly opened the door and guided me back to his office.

At some point, the knights and squires had broken off, leaving just the two maids, Gristle, and myself.

"Sylvie, Juniper, you two will need to sit in as well so you know Lady Nora's schedule. It's hectic, so it'll be quite a bit to juggle the first few weeks until you're accustomed to it."

Sylvie nodded sharply while Juniper said excitedly, "Of course!"

As Gristle unlocked his office, he gestured for us to wait as he went inside.

"We'll do the briefing in Lady Nora's office," he said by way of explanation when he returned, several folders in his hands.

"I have an office?" I asked.

"You do. However, technically, it is simply referred to as the 'main office' as it is where the Duchess Dawn would sit if she were here. As you are the highest ranked in the Manor, it is not unusual for you to be permitted to use the room." Gristle explained as we walked down the hallway.

As we approached a corner, rather than turning, Gristle paused and pressed his hand up against an empty section of wall. The wall sank in, and then a rectangular shape popped out, opening the wall towards us.

"Oh?" I said, leaning toward the newly formed doorway. "How many of these are there in the Manor?"

Gristle huffed. "More than most would care to admit. I can show you a map next week. You should get acquainted with the passages in case of an emergency, anyway."

I nodded, and followed him into the passageway. It wasn't a cramped thing, like I had been expecting. It was comfortably wide and led directly into a spiral staircase that led both up and down. Gristle headed up, but I couldn't help but looking down over the edge. It went down more than a single flight of stairs.

That was something I'd have to look into later on.

Turning my head forward, I continued to follow Gristle as we went up the steps and stopped at the very next landing. He pushed open another door, but from this side, it was much easier to make out the edges as the light shone through from the outer hallway, and there was a bar for him to grip and push out.

I stepped out and found myself in a part of the Manor that I didn't recognize.

How do I get to Twilight from here? I grumbled internally as I followed Gristle's casual pace.

We rounded a corner, and in the middle of the next hallway was a set of large double doors with purple stained glass panes. Surrounding the dark wooden doors, dusty purple-striped wallpaper was on display.

Gristle pulled out a key and unlocked the door. He held it open for me to enter. I didn't hesitate to make my way in.

The office was lit up with the late morning sun coming in from the gratuitous number of windows. No wonder the office was at the back of the Manor. An entire wall of windows replaced the outer wall and ended in a dome above the overly large dark wooden desk that was the center of the room. It was several dozen feet to the desk, and there were two smaller desks off to either side of the room, as well as three separate seating areas.

It was an obvious show of wealth and power.

Whoever came to see the Countess in her office would be forced to walk through the entirety of the Manor, and then shown this?

It fit right in with what I knew of the Dawns.

"Am I supposed to sit there?" I said, pointing to the main desk uncertainly.

Gristle nodded, a small smile on his face. "Indeed."

I approached the desk, running my hand over the edge of the wood, where there were engravings of the two suns rising. It was a border atop the desk that ended right in front of where one would sit.

Where one would sit? I'm that one.

Gristle pulled out the oversized chair for me, and I climbed into it.

"Okay, do your worst." I sighed. "What's the schedule?"

The mischievous grin on Gristle's face was all I needed to know.

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