332 The Past

Feeling like her mother misunderstood the situation, she quickly corrected, “No, it’s not like that. It’s just a hypothetical situation. Would it help if I said I was asking on behalf of a classmate? She said she was raped and feared her boyfriend would hate her. Do you think he would?”

Shen Xi looked up at her mother expectantly.

Lu Shan was taken aback. A possibility formed in her mind when she remembered what Shen Xi had said about Jiang Xue owing a debt. Could those loan sharks have foisted that debt on Shen Xi? Panicking, Lu Shan pressed for an answer, “Xixi, you… You aren’t talking about yourself, are you?”

“No, no! I’m not,” Shen Xi denied in an instant.

Lu Shan remained skeptical. She took a deep breath and said to Shen Xi, “Xixi, tell me the truth. Is someone blackmailing you?”

Shen Xi was at a loss for words, not knowing how to respond to Lu Shan’s abrupt question.

Yes, a few had bullied her, but that had been in her past life. Shen Xi nearly spilled the beans, only catching herself at the last minute. No. It would not do for her to dwell on the past. What happened in her past life would remain as it was: a bad dream that would have no bearing on the present.

Studying her mother’s expression, which seemed to grow more frantic by the second, Shen Xi wrapped her arms around Lu Shan and said, “Don’t worry; it’s not me who is in trouble. I don’t know how else to reassure you except that I’m telling the truth. I’ve never been bullied before – I haven’t.”

Lu Shan hugged Shen Xi tightly and burst into tears. The thought that someone might have humiliated her precious daughter felt like someone had gripped her heart in a vice.

“Xixi, don’t ever make me worry like that! Mom can’t take it. Whenever I think of you being bullied, it hurts so much that I can’t breathe.” Lu Shan wailed, leaning against Shen Xi’s shoulder, her tears falling freely like a torrential storm.

“Don’t worry.” Shen Xi hugged Lu Shan, consoling her. “Alright, I won’t bring up such outlandish things again.”

“I won’t let anyone who bullies you off! Even if I must chase them to the depths of hell, I’ll get revenge!” Lu Shan stared at the ground, conviction ringing strong in her voice. It seemed to lighten a load she had been carrying unconsciously, giving off a chilling murderous intent.

Shen Xi slowly extricated herself from her mother’s arms and held her hands in hers. “Mom, I’m sorry for making you worry. I let my imagination get away from me. Don’t cry; I’m fine! No one has done anything to hurt me.”

It took her longer than she would have liked, but Shen Xi coaxed her mother out of the room and into some semblance of coherence.

But, as soon as she shut the door, she broke down.

Shen Xi slid down onto the floor, her back against the door, with her head buried in her hands. She clenched her teeth stubbornly, but her tears continued pouring forth, no better than a faulty faucet with tears dripping down her face.

All this time, Shen Xi had been suppressing the memories of her being bullied, unwilling to think about those matters of her past life. Just because she forced herself not to think about the past did not mean that the past would let her live in peace as if it had never happened.

Dirty hands, disgusting bodily fluids, and gross humiliation… They were common placeholders in her dreams.

The pain the past brought her was only offset by the consequences she had forced Jiang Xue to suffer in this second life.

Shen Xi had thought she was well and truly past agonizing over the details of her first life, but it seemed she was wrong. Today, her nightmares of old had returned with a vengeance.

Lu Shan never answered her question, and Shen Xi knew she was no closer to finding an answer. It was frustrating.

She and Guan Lei were dating. Would he come to despise her upon learning the dark secrets of her past?

Shen Xi did not know how long she had been crying. All she knew was that she had to pack her luggage. It was the impetus that pushed her back onto her feet.

Back in her bedroom, Lu Shan could not help but feel like something was amiss with the exchange she had with her daughter. She could not understand why Shen Xi would ask her something like that out of the blue. Her mind wandered to Shen Xi’s flight to Beijing the next day. The city was unfamiliar, and she worried for Shen Xi’s safety.

Lu Shan came to a decision. It so happened that Shen Yan had just returned when she suddenly shot to her feet. “Babe, what’s wrong? What’s got you so flustered?”

Lu Shan turned to her husband and said, “I’m worried about Xixi. I’m worried about her going to Beijing alone. I’ll call Lu Lin and ask him to arrange for someone to watch over Xixi.”

Shen Yan did not know what caused his wife’s bout of anxiety. “Did something happen?” he asked quietly.

Lu Shan recounted Shen Xi’s odd question, fresh tears springing from the wellspring of her fears. “Hubby, I-I’m worried our Xixi is being bullied. I don’t want that; I don’t want her to suffer. The mere thought fills me with heartache.”

Shen Yan quickly pulled Lu Shan into his arms and comforted her. “Xixi is a strong girl; she’s not easy to bully.”

Despite his confidence, Shen Yan did not look too good. If anyone dared lay a finger on his daughter, he would ensure they would not have a swift death.

“I’ll have someone look after her – Zheng Huai should do nicely.” Shen Yan patted his wife on the head.

With that promise, Lu Shan calmed down. “Alright.”

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