Chapter 787 I Dont Deserve

Terashima may be the first love. But she did fall in love with him.

He returned to the kitchen, only to find the little boy stacking the dishes on the sink. The two kids sat on the chairs, drinking a milk bottle.

Is this kid really one and a half years old? Then again, he already looks like he is five. His appearance aside, it wouldn't surprise him if his mental state was that of a five-year-old too. Hanyou children are truly odd.

While he has never seen a case like this before, this must be a normal occurrence for

Huan looked up. "What about Mom?"

"Sleeping." Toh glanced over and saw some of the dishes had been wrapped up and placed on a tray with an unused plate and cutlery. He spots the small stool and saw that the kid also intends to wash the dishes.

"Don't do that. I'll get to those later. Why don't you play with your siblings? There are some toys in the next room."

Huan's eyes lit up, and he nodded. "Okay, but please take care of mom."

"I shall."

Toh picked up the tray and carried it upstairs. When he returned to the room, Sumire was not asleep. She was sat up and giggled with her phone in her hands. Is she speaking to Terashima?

Sumire's gaze met his. "My dear, I need to eat and then have medicine. Mmmm, I'll tell Hino. Love you." She blew kisses at the screen before hanging up. "That doesn't smell like pancakes."

"The pancakes are for dessert. You need proper food."

Sumire laughed. "Okay."

"Was that Terashima?"

"Yes, he suddenly called, saying he sensed something was wrong. Maybe we have telepathy." Sumire said happily as he placed the tray on her lap.

Toh frowned at her statement. She probably has no idea how accurate that is. He has heard from Lucifer that there are some hanyou's with abilities similar to mind reading, and there exists a bond between two fated souls. A bond where they can silently communicate and sense each others feelings.

Admitting that, however, means admitting that Terashima is her other half.

"What about the kids-"

"Your eldest is more responsible than you and the idiot who is his father. I found the table spotless, the rest of the food wrapped up and placed on a tray, and caught him about to do the dishes."

Sumire laughed. "He truly is a good child."

"But he is still a child. He is doing all that at a young age because he understands that the circumstances around him are not normal."

She sighed deeply. "You truly haven't changed."

"Am I wrong?"

Sumire shakes her head. "No, what you are saying is correct. The reason he is so independent is because he knows that I am a wreck. He doesn't understand why I am so sad all the time, but he can sense my emotions. I truly am not cut out to be a mother if my kid is already so independent."

"Don't belittle yourself. It's not your fault."

"Thank you, you're still very sweet. But it's because I am a mess. My career aside, I should have spent more time with him when he first came into this world. I understand there was a situation with my powers and his, but as his mother, I should have tried harder."

Toh could sense the pain and regret in her tone. He didn't want to see her like this. He cuts up the bacon and extends the fork toward her. Sumire happily took a bite.

"This really is good. I'll gain weight quickly if I am with you."

That's the plan. She definitely needs it. Toh leaned forward and lightly brushed his lips on her forehead. He didn't say anything but heard a content sigh escape her lips. Trying to persuade her to change her mind regarding their relationship aside.

He wants to make sure she feels safe, warm, and loved.

For him, that takes priority over his own needs.

__________

For as long as she could remember, she has had nightmares. Nightmares of a violent nature. She doesn't know when it started or when it got worse. But gradually, over the years, she grew increasingly afraid of reality and people. Her fears grew so much that she would flinch at the mere contact of a stranger or hearing loud sounds.

She was afraid of everything before she understood what was happening and built a large wall between herself and others.

Her nightmares grew worst and worst. She slowly started to have a hard time distinguishing between what was real and what wasn't.

Sumire woke up, gasping and clutching her chest. She felt blood seeping from her heart and blood from her hands. She could hear it, the screams of people she knew. The people that guarded her family's manor, all of them pleading, begging the 'young miss to spare their lives.' A dark forest, a blood-red moon, and sky.

The image of a young her devouring their organs.

Sumire looked around frantically, looking for someone. Anyone, to help her? To explain what she was doing and what had gotten into her.

There was nobody there, at least there shouldn't be. She felt bile rise to her throat, and she stumbled out of the bed and headed towards the bathroom. She knelt down and vomited into the toilet.

Murder, murder.

Monster.

She had not only killed her family's guards who were trying to keep her safe from whatever killed her family. But she ate them, she ate their- she sobbed and vomited again.

Disgusting, she is disgusting.

How could she do something like that?

The voices of the reporters flash through her mind and all the bad gossip about her. Those people are right about her, she isn't a good person.

She is a liar, she is manipulative.

She is the worst being in this world.

Something like her doesn't deserve happiness.

She thinks of Yuhi, she thinks of his bright smile and his gentle voice when he holds her. When he touches her and makes her feel so loved and wanted. Then she thinks about the girl who truly cares for him.

They deserve to be together. There is no room for her. She doesn't deserve his love or his kindness. She never did and never will. The reason she felt so insecure when she first met Yuhi's childhood friend is because she knew right away.

She knew that this person would be better for him.

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