Chapter 676 Inner fear
"What is it?" Yuhi must have noticed that she was staring.
"Mm, I was thinking how handsome."
At those words, Yuhi looked even more troubled, and she laughed.
"My dear, you've been acting weird recently. Are you alright? Is there something you need to discuss with me?"
Yuhi shook his head and kissed her again. "No." He placed a pair of headphones on her ear and connected it to her laptop. The familiar melody she wrote for Jun-kun played through the headphones, and she looked at the score.
"This bit, reduce the tempo." She pointed to the score, and Yuhi made the adjustments.
She occasionally felt Yuhi looking at her as she concentrated on the song.
This makes her feel a bit self-conscious, although Yuhi has already told her that he likes looking at her. It doesn't stop her from feeling embarrassed.
"So hey, after this. Do you want to go over our song?"
"Y-yes, but we can't practice any dancing with my hands like this."
"That's fine; we can take turns singing instead. Or I should at least show you how much progress I have made. But honestly, unlike you, I haven't had much time to practice."
Even if he says that, if it's Yuhi-san, there is no doubt that his few minutes of practicing are ten levels higher than her.
"Yuhi-san, do you truly think I can stand on stage next to you?" Sumire mumbled. "I am not just saying this because of my lack of confidence. It's just in terms of skills-" Her sentence fell short when he kissed her again.
Sumire pouted after he drew back. "I'm being serious! That wasn't a stupid comment."
"Yeah, you're right. I just wanted to kiss you again." Yuhi admitted.
"Now, who is being needy?"
"To answer your question about skills, you're probably only a level or two below me. Sumire, you said you used to practice independently for hours every day. When your parents went on vacation, you took advantage of it.
After the accident, you didn't speak to anyone for a while, and according to Aki, all you did was sing. When you started living on your own, you had nobody to restrict you, so you sang. Just think about it; all that time and effort you used to sing is no different than somebody who debuted as a child."
Now that he puts it that way, she tried to calculate the hours in her head. 'I did practice a lot; it would be strange if I didn't develop skills that time, the more I sang, the better I became-'
"If that's true, why am I not at your level?"
"Because you suck at dancing."
"Ah hey!" Sumire exclaimed, and Yuhi laughed. "I know I'm bad, but hearing it from you upsets me."
"I am joking; your dance skills are a bit above average already. But since your singing level is on a higher tier. Naturally, you will see your dancing as bad."
"That makes sense," Sumire mumbled. "Because I focused so much on singing, my other skills fall short."
"Yeah, but you're trying to change that now."
"You see, singing is everything to me. If I can sing, that's all I need. I don't have to stand on a grand stage or enter a large competition. I don't need money or fame either. If I can sing, then that is enough." Sumire laughed weakly. "Does that make me strange, I wonder?"
"No, I think it's great." Yuhi's gaze softened. "I was the same way, and I probably still am. For people like us, singing is our lifeline. We can only sing well when we are not thinking of complicated factors. Everything else is not important."
"But you enter many contests, Yuhi, at least you did before."
"Yeah, because it was what Hino wanted. I had no interest in them personally. Perhaps I didn't get along very well with the other contestants because I showed such indifference."
"Did they bully you? Are you alright, Yuhi?" Sumire leaned her body forward so she could brush her forehead against his. "I'm here for you."
"You seriously have no idea what you are doing to me." Yuhi trailed off and sighed as he drew back. He adjusts the headboard again, and she ends up laying back down.
Yuhi plops himself beside her, and Sumire blinked, confused. Maybe they are going to cuddle? She stared at him, puzzled for a few minutes before Yuhi pointed to his arm. So, they are going to cuddle? It's hard to predict his behavior after what happened yesterday.
This morning when she woke up, she saw Yuhi with a pained expression on his face as he changed her bandages. He looked like he was in pain, then his expression changed to an angry one.
Sumire cautiously rested her head on his arm, and Yuhi sighed.
"Why are you acting all jittery?"
"I-I think you're still angry," Sumire mumbled.
Even though he has been spoiling her this morning with affectionate words, she can't forget that pained look she saw when she woke up.
"If I was still mad, I wouldn't be lying here with you."
"But Yuhi, I-"
"I'm sure you have reflected on it, and honestly, I have to apologize for yelling. What you said was certainly correct. There would have been more bloodshed and a high chance of you being in danger. Thinking about it, you would end up dragged into the conflict if that many guns vanished. Too many people hate you."
Her sweat fell hearing him sigh at the end.
She indeed ends up making enemies wherever she goes. But does he have to sigh like that?
"So, you don't hate me, Yuhi?"
"So she asks after spending that passionate night with me. Hey, be honest. Do you think I am the type of guy who would spend the night with a woman I hated?"
"You could do-" She paused, seeing Yuhi glare at her, and she laughed softly. "I am joking, my dear."
"Every time you joke with me, I end up having a heart attack."
"I said this because I woke up briefly this morning and saw the expression on your face." Sumire paused, wondering whether or not she ought to continue.
Yuhi seemed troubled, but he nodded. "I just felt frustrated. How could I have allowed something like that to happen to you? We were together not too long before; if I didn't go, you would have been safe."
"Yuhi, calm down. You don't have to blame yourself every single time something bad happens to me." Sumire trailed off. "Okay?"
"How can I not blame myself? Before we dated, fair enough, I had an excuse. But now that we are together, you will soon become my wife. How can I not protect you?"
"But, you didn't date me so you could protect me, right?"
"I know, but I feel so useless. I want to keep you safe and see you smiling always. I never want to walk and see such a terrible sight again."
Ah, his voice is faltering again. If only she could use her arms and hug him tightly.
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