Chapter 79: Portrait of Jinniang’s Ex-husband
Translator: Henyee Translations Editor: Henyee Translations
Zhou Siming smiled and said, “Is it really so delicious? Isn’t it just a Wine Preserved Crab? I ate it when I was in the South…”
Junior Duke Rong picked up a piece of black crab paste with his chopsticks and put it into Zhou Siming’s mouth.
Zhou Siming pursed his lips and said, “Since His Majesty and Aunt have already allowed Miss Qiao to marry someone else. I think I can marry her too?”
Lu Chen indifferently glanced at the two of them and said, “Unfortunately, you two have both got concubine maids, so you’re not worthy of Jinniang.”
Junior Duke Rong said, “Don’t you have them? Oh, yes, you don’t…”
The last soup dumpling was delivered by Qiao Jinniang herself.
Entering the room, Jinniang paused when she saw Lu Chen.
She put the little bamboo steamer on the table, opened the lid and said,
“This is Crab-roe Soup Dumpling. Would you like some, Your Highness?”
Under the threatening stare of Lu Chen opposite him, Junior Duke Rong took a soup dumpling into his bowl and took a bite. The juice of the crab roe immediately came out, and it was so delicious.
He took another bite, and it was the delicious and slightly sweet crab roe and crab meat…
Junior Duke Rong sighed. “If I could marry you, I would be willing to give up my title of nobility. Some people are just blind.”
Qiao Jinniang smiled at Junior Duke Rong. “You must be kidding, Your Highness.”
Lu Chen wiped his hands with the handkerchief on the side and said to Qiao Jinniang, “If these three dishes can be served at Xi’er’s birthday banquet, it would be great.”
Qiao Jinniang grunted in response. “You know how to make them. Just tell the royal chef how to make the dishes.”
Lu Cheng found that Qiao Jinniang’s attitude towards him had eased a lot, but it made him even more depressed.
He would rather Qiao Jinniang be angry with him and scold him than treat him so calmly.
It was as if he was a stranger to her.
“Hey, you guys are occupying my private room again. I smelled the fragrance from far away.”
Fulu sat next to Junior Duke Rong. “What’s in this orange? Can oranges be a dish?”
“Give me something to eat. I’m starving.
“Guess what good show I saw in the imperial palace just now!
“I thought I’d be able to come out after greeting my grandmother, but who knows… I haven’t had breakfast yet.”
Qiao Jinniang put the Crab-roe Soup Dumpling in front of Fulu and said, “Help yourself, Your Highness.”
When Fulu was eating, she didn’t speak, which was dining etiquette. But after she finishing eating it, she said,
“Today, Prince Mediocre brought his two concubines into the imperial palace. Qiao Ruoshui… hahahaha.”
Junior Duke Rong said, “If you laugh like this, no man will marry you in the future.”
Fulu clutched her stomach and continued, “Qiao Ruoshui and Concubine Jian started a fight in front of the Empress Dowager and wouldn’t give in to each other.
“Concubine Jian couldn’t beat Qiao Ruoshui in an argument, so she pretended to have a headache, but Qiao Ruoshui insisted that Concubine Jian was feigning illness.”
Junior Duke Rong said, “That Concubine Jian was already very pretentious even before she was married. Then what happened?”
Fulu said, “Consort Xian and the Empress Dowager both wanted to summon an imperial physician, but Qiao Ruoshui said that the imperial physician they summoned was not trustworthy and would be partial to Concubine Jian. She only believed in the head of the imperial physicians who was famous for being upright.”
“The Empress Dowager didn’t want to offend Duke Anyuan Mansion and she was really annoyed by Qiao Ruoshui, so she summoned the head of the imperial physicians and said she would severely punish Qiao Ruoshui if Concubine Jian was diagnosed as sick.
“However, the head of the imperial physicians found that Concubine Jian had been pregnant for three months, but she was married to Prince Mediocre only a month ago.”
“If it were another imperial physician, he might have concealed the fact for Concubine Jian, but the head of the imperial physicians never lied.
“Qiao Ruoshui insisted that Concubine Jian fornicated with another man and got pregnant.
“Concubine Jian’s father, the Right Prime Minister, had been put into jail but Concubine Jian was still Prince Mediocre’s concubine, so Consort Xian echoed Qiao Ruoshui’s sentiment, trying to get rid of Concubine Jian.
“But although the Right Prime Minister is gone, Prince Lu and Imperial Consort Jian are still there.
“Imperial Consort Jian never disobeyed the Empress Dowager and Consort Xian, but this time she came out to defend her niece.
“She said her maids saw Concubine Jian and Prince Mediocre making love in the imperial palace with their own eyes, and… hahahaha.”
When Qiao Jinniang heard what Fulu said, she only knew felt harems were too complicated. Qiao Ruoshui and Concubine Jian were only two concubines, but they could cause such big trouble…
Junior Duke Rong said, “What did she say? Hurry up and say it?”
“She said Prince Mediocre’s penis was as small as a teapot mouth, not even an inch long.
“The maid originally thought that a teapot mouth couldn’t make Concubine Jian pregnant, but it turned out she was wrong! Hahaha.”
Lu Chen glanced at Fulu and said, “How can you, an unmarried girl, talk about this kind of matter?”
Fulu clutched her stomach and laughed. “As soon as Imperial Consort Jian said those words, my mother asked me to go.
“But I saw the letters Prince Mediocre wrote to Concubine Jian before they were married. Oh, the letters are really sappy.
“And in one letter, Prince Mediocre mistook Concubine Jian’s name as Miaomiao. Qin Miaomiao is doomed!”
Zhou Siming frowned and said, “Your Highness, speak carefully. This concerns Miss Qin’s reputation.”
Fulu said, “Okay, then I won’t laugh at Qin Miaomiao. Let’s just laugh at the teapot mouth, hahaha. I’m afraid that tomorrow, the whole Chang’an will know that Prince Mediocre’s penis is as small as a teapot mouth.
I will never drink tea in the future.”
Qiao Jinniang wondered. “Why teapot mouth?”
Fulu looked at Qiao Jinniang and said, “You really don’t understand it, or are you faking it? Even I, who haven’t been married, understand it.”
Qiao Jinniang shook her head. “I really don’t understand it.”
Lu Chen said to her, “You don’t have to understand it. Don’t listen to her nonsense.”
Fulu said, “Poor Jinniang, may I take you to a brothel to learn some knowledge?”
“No, it’s not necessary.”
…
Just as Fulu said, except for preparing for the Mid-Autumn Festival.
Everyone was talking about the teapot mouth these days.
Some young girls didn’t know what it meant.
But older women all made fun of it.
Consort Xian was so angry that she vented on Qiao Ruoshui and punished her every day.
The day after tomorrow was the Mid-Autumn Festival Banquet, but Consort Xian grounded Qiao Ruoshui.
In Prince Mediocre’s mansion, Qiao Ruoshui lay prostrate on the table and cried aggrievedly.
“Why don’t they let me go to the Mid-Autumn Festival Banquet? That slut hooked up with His Highness before marriage, and even when she was pregnant, she gave her maid to His Highness to stop him from coming to see me. But why is everyone blaming me?”
Qiao Ruoshui’s mammy said, “Consort, please don’t cry. Concubine Jian is pregnant with His Highness’ child, so no one dares to do anything to her.
“If you want to be favored by His Highness, you have to rely on the Duke Mansion.”
With tears in her eyes, Qiao Ruoshui said, “But my parents are unwilling to help me.”
The mammy said, “Isn’t there still the Zheng family? Old Madam Zheng has always loved you the most. If you help Zheng Bo marry Second Miss, the Zheng family can torture Second Miss, and by then it can help restore the Zheng family to its old days’ glory, and after that they can provide you with great support.”
Qiao Ruoshui felt what the mammy said made sense. Didn’t Qiao Jinniang hate concubines?
Then she would make Qiao Jinniang marry Cousin Zheng Bo who had a lot of concubines!
“Mommy, but how should I do it?”
The mammy said, “Don’t you have the portrait of Qiao Jinniang’s ex-husband that she painted herself? It doesn’t matter if you can’t find her ex-husband. Just find a man who looks like the person in the painting…”
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