Johnson was telling me his father's story like a non-fragrant soap opera and he told me that the woman his father married had dementia. She forgot everything. She even forgot that she was married to Johnson's father.
She called a handsome Elf as her husband instead of Johnson's dad.
Johnson's father didn't like that and also, he suspected that the woman was acting. Her memories were intact like breasts of women starring in the Milfs genre.
That's why to be sure of his claims, Johnson's dad decided to follow the woman and the elf and he followed them to the elf's bedroom and what he saw made Johnson's dad sure of his claims that the woman hadn't forgotten anything.
I asked Johnson what did his father saw and he said:
"She remembered perfectly how to give a blowjob!"
"..."
I had no idea what to say here.
But I had to say something so I just said what I had in mind like I used to do in school during viva.
"That's… not a reason to believe that she didn't forget her memories, Johnson."
"Why?"
"Because she must remember giving a blow job because of her muscle memory. Your father should have looked for concrete proof."
"Well, he did get another proof. But it was a meager proof."
"What was it?"
"While the woman and the elf were going at it, the woman was constantly saying how she fooled my father. She was saying, 'I didn't lose my memories at all. That man was a brute. He didn't deserve me. He may be strong but he isn't handsome at all. I don't like ugly men. I married him for the money and the respect he gets from his peers. I act like I swallow to him but I spit it out when he isn't looking. I don't love him at all. Haha.' She was saying all this."
"... That's a meager proof?"
"Why, yes."
"Dude, that's the concrete proof! She just confessed that she was faking her condition. Your father called this meager proof and considered blowjob superior to this? What kind of family do you have? You call ants and flies terrifying but skeletons normal. Does this run in your family?"
"Maybe. Anyway, just after knowing this, my father barged in the bedroom and without waiting for anything, he killed the woman and the couple and from that day forward, he never trusted another woman."
Silence.
Jack and I stared at Johnson's serious expressions like we saw a sexy woman alone at night and Jack shook his head.
I also sighed and nodded.
"What happened with your father was sad. It really was. He didn't deserve that. He has my condolences. But I only have a little question."
Johnson gestured to me to ask the question and with a deep breath, I asked it.
"If your father didn't trust a woman after that then how the fcuk were you born? Don't tell me you came out of a man. I know you said that your mother was a male but I discarded it as one of those jokes that writers make characters say just to make things funny by screwing the logic. It can't be true, right? Right? Right?"
Johnson squinted his eyes at me and I was hoping for good news but the chief guard… he smirked.
"Motherfcker!"
I banged my head on the wall.
That smirk said it all.
"I can explain. My father di—"
"Don't bother. I don't want nightmares. The last thing I want to know is how you came out of a man."
"It's not what you think, Human."
"Oh yeah? Then why the hell did you smirk like you just found a hole in your wall and your sister lives in the room next to you?"
"That wasn't a smirk like that. I smirked because I remember how my father made me come into the world."
"That is no reason to smirk like that! What is wrong with you? I thought you couldn't make it worse but you broke the mould."
"Hear me out at least."
"No."
"Hear him out, pal. I am sure there must be something worth knowing. And also, he is cute."
"Did you just call him cute? That guy with two red horns and blonde hairs on his orange skin? If he is cute then I am the most popular MC. And why the fuck I am surrounded with homos?!"
"After being betrayed by that woman, my father went to live in solitude."
"Dude, don't just start the story. I didn't even give you permission yet."
"He lived in solitude for ten years. He drank alcohol, started taking drugs, he started kidnapping rabbits and trained them to never lose a race against a turtle, he was going towards his doom. But one day, he decided to end this suffering. He set out to find a woman and did the unthinkable. But since you didn't give me permission to share it, let's stop right here."
"... Have you ever tried writing?" I asked.
"No. Why?"
"Because you know how to stop things at a cliffhanger!"
"Heh. Fine. So you want to hear the story now?"
I clenched my jaw like I hid an iphone while window shopping as my answer was, "Yes."
Johnson smirked and continued. And I can't believe we drifted into this backstory out of nowhere. We were fighting about water, right?
[ This is what people call bad pacing. Anything is happening and you are just exchanging dialogues for the past ten chapters—minutes. I mean, minutes. Heck, more than ten minutes. ]
'I know. But don't worry. I will fix everything.'
The system went silent and I focused on Johnson.
"What did your father do? Why did he set out to find a woman after being betrayed like that? And I would ignore the rabbits training part. My brain stopped processing that a few minutes ago. Try to finish everything at once."
Johnson gave a nod and shared whatever was left of his story.
"My father set out to find a woman because he realized he couldn't live alone. He was strong, he worked as a commander in Lord Malthus's army so he had some duties too. He can't just drown himself in alcohol and this rabbit hole, literally. So he decided that what he needed in his life was a son. A son whom he can play with, train with, laugh with, murder with, steal with, kidnap with, a son with whom he can feel alive again.
Therefore, he went to the best woman he could find and abducted her. He killed the husband of the woman and brought the woman to his house. He had sex with her, made her pregnant and then I was born. Just after one second of my birth, my father brought an old man and the old man against the wishes of my mother, did some magic and…"
"And?" Me and Jack both asked, leaning forward like Michael Jackson.
Johnson sighed and shared something I didn't know existed in other worlds.
"The old man changed the gender of my mother and turned her into a man."
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